Mariana joined the military service in one of the Marine Corps units back in 2018. There, she met her future husband, a serviceman in the National Guard. In the spring of 2022, Mariana was taken captive - three months into her pregnancy. Despite her condition, the Russians showed no leniency. However, it was her child that helped her persevere then. After all, «a mother cannot surrender».
On September 22nd 2022, Mariana Mamonova, who was then nine months pregnant, was exchanged. This was the same exchange in which Viktor Medvedchuk was returned to Russia. Alongside her, 214 Ukrainian soldiers who defended Mariupol returned home. Three days after her release, Mariana gave birth to a daughter.
Mariana is now 32. She is a mother, a volunteer, a psychotherapist, and the founder of a charitable foundation aimed at helping women who have experienced Russian captivity. She considers helping women who have endured Russian imprisonment her mission.
«In captivity, they threatened to take my child away and send her to an orphanage»
Kseniya Minchuk: Tell us, how did you recover after captivity? What helped you?
Mariana Mamonova: I gave birth immediately after returning from captivity, so I had no time to adjust. When my daughter turned one and I slowly started to resurface, things became emotionally challenging. I lacked the mental resources for healthy motherhood. I realised I needed help and sought out a psychotherapist, whom I am still working with today.
Something always brings you back to what you experienced in captivity.
I had nightmares. I couldn’t sleep. When my daughter woke up at night, we would turn on a nightlight for children. Then, I couldn’t sleep anymore because, in the colony, we always slept with the lights on
In captivity, a person exhausts all their resources to survive. You do not analyse or reflect - you survive. But when you come out, you start to process everything. Many times, I asked myself, how did I survive it all? I must have been born under a lucky star.
Yet, a child loves you unconditionally, and this love motivates you to achieve new things. My child gives me strength when it seems I have none left. You come home from work, wanting to lie down like a stone, but no - you need to play with your daughter. Soon, you realise that in these games, you find restoration.
- How were you treated in captivity?
- At first, I thought I would be exchanged quickly since I was pregnant. But that did not happen. I was very worried that I might be taken to Russian territory, where women convicted of serious crimes serve their sentences. They threatened me with this - they said they would send me there, that I would give birth there, they would take my child from me, I would remain in that colony, and my child would be taken to an orphanage. I was terribly afraid of this. My fear intensified when I was moved to a hospital in Donetsk - it was then that I realised such a scenario was real. A similar incident occurred in Olenivka. A woman wanted to leave Mariupol, but she and her month-old child were detained at a filtration point. She was taken to Olenivka, and her child was sent to an unknown location. Another pregnant woman was taken to Taganrog, she returned no longer pregnant, as she had endured physical torture.
I was concerned that the constant fear and adrenaline I felt would affect my child's health. At the same time, my child helped me stay strong. I could not afford to give up for her sake. «A mother must be strong», I thought then. I would stroke my belly and talk to my daughter.
In captivity, I dreamed a lot. I imagined where I would walk, how I would drink a latte and eat cherry doughnuts, which I craved immensely. I clung to these fantasies
I also mentally made a list of things I needed to do once I returned from captivity. «You must return», I told myself daily.
- Do you have any insights on why some endure captivity while others do not? I mean psychologically.
- A strong inner core is very important. If one has it, one will endure. In captivity, they constantly press on you not only physically but also psychologically. For example, every day they told us that no one needed us, that everyone had forgotten about us, that Ukraine had no plans to exchange us. «If anyone cared about you, you would have been exchanged already», they told us. But an inner voice told me otherwise. That this was all manipulation. That these were the words of people who attacked us, who kill us and destroy the lives of millions. Insatiable, greedy tyrants. How could one listen to them? Could one expect any truth from them? No. But when the same thing is repeated to you daily for 2-3 years, at some point, doubt creeps in - maybe they are right, and I really am of no use to anyone?
The support and empathy of other prisoners helped me. Our shared struggle sustained all of us. Without a sense of humour, one would probably go mad.
Everyone in captivity knew I was pregnant and tried to help me. I made friends there. Eight girls who were recently exchanged come for rehabilitation in Lviv and always want to see me, they ask me to come with my child: «We want to see the baby we helped feed when we were with you in captivity».
They thought I was struggling in the colony. And I thought they were struggling
They looked at me and said: «If Mariana holds on, then we certainly cannot give up». I was their lifeline.
«Above all, those freed from captivity want to be with their loved ones»
- Tell us about your foundation, which you created to help freed female captives. Who do you help, and in what ways?
- I work as a psychotherapist at the rehabilitation centre «Unbreakable» - with people who have endured captivity and those with combat-related injuries. I know many specialists, so assembling a professional team was not difficult. I chose my colleagues as if I were choosing for myself. It is essential that the team is empathetic, reliable, and highly professional.
The aim of our foundation is to help women who have experienced captivity. We support their rehabilitation: mentally, physically and spiritually. This involves working with psychologists, psychotherapists and in groups - to help them feel like women again and lead happy lives. We call this direction Heelme.
We also provide support to the pregnant wives of servicemen, pregnant veterans and pregnant women who have lost their husbands in the war. This project is called Mommy and Baby. We will provide packages for newborn children, which include items for both the child and the mother. Often, when women give birth, gifts are brought for the child, but the mother is forgotten. We have received approximately three thousand requests for these packages.
To receive assistance from our foundation, one must complete a Google form. It is mandatory to have a Combatant’s ID, a marriage certificate (if the help is for a serviceman's wife), or a birth certificate (if the help is for a serviceman’s newborn child).
- What symptoms of the freed individuals do your psychotherapists work with?
- As a psychotherapist, I encounter various symptoms. These include uncontrollable aggression, a constant immersion in past events, and intrusive memories. There are also sleep disorders, memory impairments, and quick exhaustion. A persistent or periodic feeling of tension and anxiety, as well as numbness or lack of emotions.
Quite often, people returning from captivity do not feel joy or satisfaction in life
This manifests either immediately or three to four months after their return. Social alienation often develops, and sometimes even antisocial behaviour. Working with all of this is very challenging but necessary.
- In your opinion, what should be changed in Ukrainian legislation to improve the lives of people who have returned from captivity?
- Many changes are needed. For instance, people who have endured captivity must undergo rehabilitation. However, those who return to service after captivity do not receive rehabilitation.
Commanders who have not experienced captivity do not understand soldiers who have. And this is not only difficult - it is dangerous. Freed individuals absolutely need additional rehabilitation. Because war is a trigger
A significant problem is that people return from captivity only to be placed in quarantine in a hospital, limiting their contact with society. This is yet another trauma. You escape from one captivity, only to find yourself in another.
Above all, those freed from captivity want to see their loved ones. To embrace them, to talk to them, to realise they are loved, that people fought for them and waited. This gives an inner strength, confirming that it was not in vain to hold on. Only after spending time with family should they be sent for rehabilitation. Unfortunately, freed prisoners are usually confined in hospitals immediately, and then intelligence services arrive for interrogations. Such a procedure never has a positive effect on a person.
Enduring captivity is a lifelong experience. It never truly ends. The effects remain forever. It is impossible to heal in one go. You have to learn to live with it. Thus, rehabilitation for those who have survived captivity is essential. It helps them return to normal life, and for a soldier, it enables effectiveness.
«At least 400 Ukrainian women are in Russian captivity»
- Helping women who return from captivity is a tremendous responsibility. But I am not afraid of this responsibility. I understand these women because I am one of them. I want to give them what I could not receive.
When the euphoria of return fades, daily life begins, where there is constantly something to «sort out». And the mental resources and strength for this are lacking
Our foundation is unique in that it truly understands the rehabilitation of women who have experienced captivity. We are currently seeking investors, and ultimately, I aim for autonomy. I hope people will recognise the importance of our initiative. Because we are helping those who have given away the most valuable thing - their freedom to defend Ukraine.
These people endured 14 out of the 16 types of torture that exist. They are broken people
We must help them become whole again. There are approximately 400 Ukrainian women currently held in Russian captivity. This is an estimate, probably no one knows the exact number.
Many captives die due to torture, and some switch sides under Russian propaganda or threats. Every day we are losing Ukrainians - it is a catastrophe. I wish more people and initiatives would join the efforts to exchange captives. I urge everyone to fight for each person. Otherwise, we will lose this war. And we cannot afford to let that happen.
A journalist, writer, videographer, content creator and podcast author. She has participated in social projects aimed at raising awareness about domestic violence. She has led her own social initiatives, ranging from entertainment projects to a documentary film about an inclusive theatre, which she independently authored and edited. At «Hromadske Radio», she created podcasts, photo reports and video stories. Since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, she has begun collaborating with international publications, attending conferences and meetings across Europe to share insights about the war in Ukraine and journalism during these challenging times.
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