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«I hugged the trees farewell. I promised to come back»

Refugee from Mykolaiv on everything the war stole from her and temporary asylum in Poland.

Tetiana Bakotska

Mykolaiv, November 2022.
Photograph: Nina Liashonok/UkrInform/Eastern News

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For eight years, I recorded stories from people, whose life had been destroyed by the Russo-Ukrainian war, as I worked as a journalist for the National Public Broadcasting Company in Mykolaiv. Since 2014, when the occupation of Crimea occurred and fighting began in eastern Ukraine, the heroes and heroines of my TV and radio programs, stories, reports, articles and sketches have been the Ukrainian troops, volunteers, internally displaced persons and refugees.

The new chapter of the great war has brought even more death and total ruin into my life. At 39 I became a widow of a fallen soldier, a refugee. I ended up alone in a foreign country with two children (a 6-month-old daughter and an 11 y.o. son), without any relatives, friends, or people I knew. Now I am forced to write my own story as a refugee to document Russian war crimes and record the memories of what I have experienced.

Battles for the South

The first Russian missiles of February 24 2022, fell one and a half kilometres away from my home - on a large military airfield «Kulbakine». Thanks to the intel intercepted by the Main Intelligence Agency of the Ministry of Defence, the 299th brigade had managed to get all the aircraft into the air before the air raid began. After the combined missile and bomb strikes, the airfield was attacked multiple times by convoys of occupational troops. On the evening of February 25, they entered our village, which is 4km away from Mykolaiv, from the direction of Kherson. We could not believe that this was our new reality. But after the rain, the enemy tanks got stuck in the field between my house and the airfield. Six vehicles still managed to infiltrate the military facility. They were met with fire by the service members of the tactical aviation brigade named after Lieutenant General Vasyl Nikiforov, under the command of Colonel Serhiy Samoylov. The National Guard fighters were helping. Facing resistance, the Russians fled. Some of them could not find the way back and hid in the forest strips where we used to gather mushrooms.

On March 4th, they came back. Approximately at noon, a Russian drone flew over the airfield, and Russian airborne combat vehicles drove through the streets of our village once again. About 400 Russians had entered the premises of the airfield. The fighting began. Our infantrymen decided to let them come close, as their resources were limited to small arms. The Russians were 200 metres away from the operations centre. And then, the airfield’s defenders began shelling them with artillery. The Russians retreated.

A year after this battle, the commander of the tactical aviation brigade named after Lieutenant General Vasyl Nikiforov, Serhiy Samoylov, said in an interview that it was a fateful victory. By defending the airfield, our warriors saved Mykolaiv.

Evacuation. I hugged the trees farewell

Evacuation was recommended to all residents of our Shevchenko community, as these grounds had become one of the epicentres of battles for Mykolaiv. People who had to remain there for various reasons lived under constant crossfire. Without water, electricity, gas, or medicine. They would extinguish the fires caused by bombings themselves, feed and tend to local cats and dogs.

Oh, how hard it was to abandon everything that I love… But I did not have a choice. I hugged our trees: cherries, apple and pear trees, plums and apricots, which my husband and I planted in the Spring of 2014 when the war started and he was drafted for the first time. I talked to our house that we built ourselves in 2013: «We love you very much, but we must run away. Sorry. Stand steadily, and until we meet again!». Me and my children left for a village 100km north of Mykolaiv, close to the town of Voznesensk. We drove for 9 hours. The roads were congested with traffic. People were fleeing the Kherson region.

Tetiana with her children. Evacuation

We were hoping that it would be safer there. But in a few days, Russian military convoys had reached Voznesensk. They began shelling the town with heavy artillery. Bloodshedding battles commenced. A military unit that was just a few kilometres away from where we were then was being hit by missiles. I read the news: the goal of the enemy forces is to capture the Southern Ukrainian nuclear power plant that is just 30km away from Voznesensk. When the Russians captured the largest nuclear power plant in Europe, the Zaporizhia NPP, in early March, I was really scared that the same clashes would commence for our Southern Ukrainian NPP. So I began to look for an opportunity to get closer to the western border with my children. But the bridge to Mykolaiv had already been blown up. It was also not possible to reach Odesa by train since the railway bridge was destroyed as well. I accidentally came across a group of strangers on Facebook who agreed to take us to the evacuation train to Odesa. Going by car was dangerous: the roads were getting bombed and some territories were filled with mines. But we left at noon anyway. We rode into the unknown.

The «Odesa - Lviv» train

Odesa greeted us with a cold sea breeze and rain. We spent 17 hours waiting in line for the evacuation train headed to Lviv. The railway station was overcrowded. I found a small piece of empty space by the wall and we were finally able to sit down on the floor. Men, seeing their wives and children off at the train, sat next to us. Time after time they looked at us and asked us anxiously: «Make your children calm down or move away. You are irritating my kids. How can you even be so careless as to travel with such a small child?».

It came to me that it was unlikely for everyone to fit on the train. No one knew if there would be another train the next day and we did not have any place to stay. It was also impossible to come back. I called the police and explained our situation. A representative of the railway security called me back and said that he could help, as my husband, the father of my children, was among the defenders of the southern front among the Ukrainian Armed forces. He brought us to a group of people who, unlike us, were waiting for the train inside, in a dedicated room at the railway station. When the train arrived, we were told that we could enter one of the first four train cars. But nervous and exhausted people on the platform would not let us through. And once again the railway security representative helped us board the train. Me and my children managed to get in last. The train conductor informed us that we could enter any compartment that had less than six people in it. But everyone who had already got in refused to let us enter and would even push us out: nobody wanted to travel alongside a little baby. We had to leave our baggage behind. We only took a backpack with food and medicine. The saddest thing for me to leave behind was my son’s dobok (taekwondo uniform). But he reassured me: «Don’t worry. We’ve lost so much that my dobok is but a drop in the ocean». Then the train conductor proclaimed that the train would not take off until we were provided with a seat. Close to 2 AM we finally took off to Lviv. There was a Russian-speaking lady with three almost-adult children in our compartment who was travelling by the Red Cross programme to Germany. Her husband was working there and they’d already had free living quarters in Germany. She explained why she initially did not want to let us into the compartment: «The Red Cross promised us a comfortable trip. And we’ve earned it because we are from Mykolaiv. We went through stress».

Ruslan Khoda. Ukraine’s defender on the southern front. Died in battle in the Kherson region on August 4th 2022 at 14:00. This is the last photo of the hero

Lviv volunteers: all for the sake of victory

We reached Lviv in 12 hours. The railway station was as overcrowded as it was in Odesa. I did not know what to do next. I wanted to buy bus tickets to the Polish border. But there were none. I had to contact Ksenia Klym - a journalist, volunteer and the mother of Marko Klym, a Ukrainian soldier. In early March, Marko defended the Mykolaiv region from the Russian occupants, including the Voznesensk town, from which we travelled to Lviv. Ksenia came to the railway station right away and invited us to spend the night at her place, as my children were exhausted by such a long trip.

The following day Christina Brukhal, a volunteer from Lviv, helped us board an evacuation bus to Warsaw. At first, we came to a place where lady Christina and her colleagues had organised a shelter for people wanting to flee to Poland. Christina provided us with warm clothes so we would not get cold at night at the border. Additionally, she gave us diapers, child food and a new backpack. In the evening, when the bus arrived, almost all the volunteers went outside to bid us farewell. It was very touching: in such a short time, strangers in Lviv had bestowed so much love upon us that it was almost as if we had lived together our whole lives. They were with us until the last moment of our being in our Motherland. Everyone cried.

The same evening, Ksenia alongside other Lviv residents went to deliver humanitarian help for the warriors in the Mykolaiv region, where hellish battles were taking place.

Loss

My husband, Ruslan Khoda, went to the recruitment office on the first day. In 5 months, on August 4th 2022, he died in battle during a Russian artillery shelling near Lozove village in the Kherson region.

Ruslan was the Commander of the reconnaissance platoon within the 36th Separate Marine Brigade named after Counter Admiral Mykhailo Bilynskyi (military unit A2802, city of Mykolaiv).

Scouts are always the first ones to go. On July 25th Ruslan turned 37, and in 10 days his two children, Mykhailo (11 years old) and Myroslava (11 months old), became half-orphans.

Ruslan’s body, like many of his comrades who also died there, still has not been returned to his relatives. Russian troops had been constantly bombing the territory now called the Lozova Grave, so there was no burial. If the body is missing, the fallen soldier’s family cannot receive financial support from the government. Only on Christmas of 2023 did our children presents from the Red Cross: Myroslava - a Frozen doll, and Mykhailo - a chocolate bar and a bottle of water.

«Taekwondo Olsztyn» club coach Marcin Chożelevsky and Tetiana and Ruslan’s son. The boy enjoys the sports lessons

In the Autumn of 2022, an unknown woman called me on Viber and said: «My grandson was also there, where the Lozova Grave is now. Every day, my grandson watched through binoculars over Ruslan's body. At the first opportunity, he took him away. He asked me to tell you that Ruslan's body is in the ground. It's untouched by dogs, unpicked by birds. The bodies of all the soldiers who remained there rest in Ukrainian soil, and their souls continue to defend the South.»

In 2014, when the Russo-Ukrainian war started, Ruslan was drafted for the first time. Our son was three years old. Ruslan could flee to Poland like many people he knew did. After all, his mother, two sisters and nephews still live in the suburbs of Moscow. He took this step because for him it was a battle for the opportunity for people to choose their own future, for a chance to live in a fair world. And for him, the war was not over in 2015 when he came home: he was ready to pay the highest price for the victory of Ukraine.

Mykolaiv: a city on an explosive wave

Mykolaiv is called that since the beginning of the full-scale invasion. Russian forces repeatedly stormed the city, regularly shelled it with cruise missiles, cluster munitions, attacked with rocket artillery and targeted it with S-300 surface-to-air missiles. The occupants performed their largest shelling of Mykolaiv on the night of July 31st 2022. It was their most massive attack of the entire war.

The following day, Ruslan called me for the last time. He wanted to say goodbye because he knew that he would not make it alive from that fight: «You will make it. Your task is to raise our children as patriots, as decent people. Everything will be Ukraine!»

Again and again, I thought about what the war had taken from us: Russian missiles destroyed the student dormitory, where 18 years prior he and I met for the first time (during the beginning of the Orange Revolution of 2004); the Pedagogical university where he and I studied for 5 years; one of the facilities where Ruslan used to work; schools and hospitals, a church where we christened our children; a theatre that we would go on holidays… In terms of the scale of destruction and the number of bombings, the Mykolaiv region ranks third after the Donetsk and Luhansk regions.

School in the village of Blagodatne in the Mykolaiv region destroyed by the Russian forces, July 19th 2023. Photo: Nina Liashonok/Ukrinform/ABACAPRESS.COM

Since April 2022, the city has been living without a centralised water supply. The Russians destroyed the water source which Mykolaiv was getting water from. As of July 2023, the overall damages inflicted upon Mykolaiv’s infrastructure due to Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine have been estimated to be over 860 million euros. 159 civilians including 2 children in Mykolaiv and 16 children in the region have lost their lives to the full-scale war waged by Russia.

Life in Poland

In April 2022, I came to Olsztyn with my children - the capital of the Warmińsko-Mazurskie voivodeship. Here my son Mykhailo had the opportunity to continue practicing taekwondo. It is more than just sports for our family. Grigoriy Khozyainov, my son’s and husband’s coach, the head of the Mykolaiv Regional Taekwondo Federation, senior coach for the Ukrainian national cadet team, participated in battles for Mariupol, in the Mykolaiv region and the Kherson region as part of the 36th Separate Marine Brigade named after Counter Admiral Mykhailo Bilynskyi. He was declared MIA (missing in action) on November 7th 2022 during battles on the outskirts of Bakhmut. He was 50 years old.

During his lifetime, our coach managed to bring up a World Champion among cadets, Champions of Europe and winners of many international and Ukrainian tournaments. My husband was among the first students of Grigoriy Khozyainov. Ruslan grew up in a large family. His parents often could not afford the training fee. When his coach found out about it, he said that talented kids could study for free under his mentorship. And because of that, later on, Ruslan volunteered as a children’s coach in the Shevchenko community on the outskirts of Mykolaiv. Maybe he found himself in those kids, as it was too expensive and difficult for them to go to the city for training. The last taekwondo training session that my husband conducted ended at 6 PM on Wednesday, February 23 2022, in the village of Shevchenkove, Mykolaiv region, which was among the villages that suffered the most from Russian shellings. Possibly, the building in which Ruslan used to teach taekwondo does not exist anymore.

My husband wanted to serve in the 36th brigade in particular because our coach had been serving there since Autumn of 2022. Grigory Borysovych felt the imminence of the war. He was offered work as a coach in European countries multiple times but he chose a different path: he left to defend the Donetsk frontline.

When Ruslan died, his coach was distressed by the tragedy. Ruslan was like a son to him. To comfort Grigory Borysovych at least somehow, my son promised him that he would take his father’s place and conduct trainings for the children of the Shevchenko community when we came back to Mykolaiv. The coach could not hold back his tears.

In Olsztyn, my son once again has the opportunity to be with his taekwondo family. He has been training free of pay here for over a year now. Coach Marcin Chożelevsky has given him a new dobok. On May 20th 2023, the Kujawsko-Pomorska league tournaments took place in Bydgoszcz. Mykhailo won a golden medal.

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Journalist, editor of the Mykolaiv branch of the National Public Broadcasting Company of Ukraine. Author of TV and radio programs, reports, and articles on military, environmental, cultural, social and European topics. Published in the newspaper of the Ukrainian diaspora in Poland «Our Word», on the nationwide website «Eurointegration Portal» of the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister for European and Euro-Atlantic Integration and the Ukrainian Crisis Media Center. Participates in international training programs for journalists: Deutsche Welle Akademie, Media Neighbourhood (BBC Media Action), Thomson Foundation, and others. Co-organiser of various events and training sessions: educational and cultural projects for refugees in Poland, implemented by Caritas, Federation of NGOs FOSa; «Culture Helps», implemented by Osvita (UA) and Zusa (DE). Co-author of the book «A Heart Devoted to the People» about the history of southern Ukraine. Published articles on military topics in the books «War in Ukraine. Kyiv - Warsaw: Together to Victory» (Poland, 2022) and «Environmental Readings: Preserving for Future Generations» (Ukraine, 2022).

Support Sestry

Even a small contribution to real journalism helps strengthen democracy. Join us, and together we will tell the world the inspiring stories of people fighting for freedom!

Donate

Three years of war is, without exaggeration, a true struggle for all nations. Some are ready to stand side by side with Ukraine until victory, some have begun to momentarily doubt what to do next, and some have completely lost faith. Yet there are those who never cease to do good for the benefit of Ukraine and the entire free world. Thousands of Ukrainian and Polish women make invaluable contributions to the triumph of democracy every day. Despite the exhaustion of three years of war, they continue their relentless work for the sake of a brighter future. And we, the international magazine Sestry.eu, tell the stories of these incredible women who change the world for the better every day.

In 2024, the editorial team of Sestry.eu established a special award, «Portraits of sisterhood», to honour women who, through their active civic stance and willingness to sacrifice, do everything possible to help those who need it most.

<span class="teaser"><img src="https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/64ae8bc0e4312cd55033950d/65cc6e8f39be6e9d65fcf154_Sestry.eu_Portretysiostrzenstwa250mini.avif">«We are all not competing but cooperating». Sestry.eu has announced the winners of the «Portraits of sisterhood» award</span>

This year, the award ceremony will take place on March 4th 2025 in Warsaw. The Honourable Chapter has selected 12 nominees. From these, the laureates of the «Portraits of sisterhood» award will be chosen - a Ukrainian and a Polish woman as the embodiment of close mutual support and cooperation in Polish-Ukrainian dialogue, as well as an example of true sisterhood.

Honourable committee of the «Portraits of sisterhood» award:

  • Dominika Kulczyk, entrepreneur, President of the Kulczyk Foundation
  • Agnieszka Holland, Polish film director
  • Kateryna Bodnar, wife of the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of Ukraine to the Republic of Poland
  • Natalka Panchenko, leader of «Euromaidan-Warsaw», chairperson of the Stand with Ukraine Foundation
  • Adriana Porowska, Minister for Civil Society Affairs
  • Myroslava Keryk, President of the Board of the «Ukrainian House» Foundation, Warsaw
  • Myroslava Gongadze, head of broadcasting for Voice of America in Eastern Europe
  • Bianka Zalewska, Polish journalist
  • Elwira Niewiera, Polish film director
  • Kateryna Glazkova, Executive Director of the Union of Ukrainian Entrepreneurs
  • Joanna Mosiej, Editor in Chief of Sestry.eu
  • Maria Górska, Editor in Chief of Sława TV

Nominees for the «Portraits of sisterhood» Award, Poland:

Agnieszka Zach, Polish volunteer

Photo: Agnieszka Rodowicz

Before the full-scale war in Ukraine, Agnieszka Zach worked as a guide in Poland’s largest nature reserve - Biebrza National Park. She was raising four children and building a house. On February 24th 2022, her life changed drastically. She decided to dedicate herself to helping Ukrainians. In one of her homes, she sheltered women with children fleeing the war. Later, she began travelling to Ukraine as a volunteer. For nearly three years, Agnieszka has been delivering humanitarian aid to the military on the frontlines. Regardless of the weather conditions, she walks barefoot - earning her the nicknames «Barefoot» or «Witch».

Anna Lazar, curator, art historian, translator

Photo: Private archive

Anna Lazar is a Polish curator, art historian, literary translator, and public figure who has been building cultural bridges between Poland and Ukraine for many years. She is a member of the Women’s Archive of the Institute of Literary Research of the Polish Academy of Sciences and the Polish section of AICA. She graduated in Ukrainian and Polish philology, as well as in art history, from the University of Warsaw. For seven years, she served as Deputy Director of the Polish Institute in Kyiv. In her interdisciplinary projects, Lazar combines contemporary art with historical and social reflection. Her translation portfolio includes both classical and modern works of Ukrainian literature.

Anna is also engaged in voluntary work. Her activities bring together artists, writers, and thinkers from both countries, broadening the context of Ukrainian culture.

Monika Andruszewska, war correspondent and volunteer

Photo: private archive

Polish war correspondent and volunteer Monika Andruszewska has lived in Ukraine since the Revolution of Dignity. In 2014, she joined volunteers travelling to eastern Ukraine. In her reports, she actively covered everything that was happening on the frontline. She witnessed combat operations in the Donetsk airport area. When the full-scale war began, Monika Andruszewska risked her life to evacuate 30 Ukrainians from under shelling in Irpin, near Kyiv.

Monika is now actively involved in voluntary work and, in collaboration with the Lemkin Centre (Warsaw), is collecting evidence of Russian war crimes in Ukraine. For her achievements, she has been awarded Poland’s Gold Cross of Merit, the Stand With Ukraine Awards, and the Polish Journalists Association award for her report «Bierz ciało, póki dają» (from Polish: «Take the body while they are still giving it»), dedicated to Ukrainian mothers searching for their sons who have gone missing in the war.

Anna Dąbrowska, president of the Homo Faber association

Photo: private archive

Anna Dąbrowska is the President of the Lublin-based Homo Faber association and Co-Chair of the Migration Consortium. She works on issues concerning the impact of migration on local communities and develops integration policies at the city level. She is also a co-founder of «Baobab» - a social meeting space for communities in Lublin.

Olga Piasecka-Nieć - psychologist, president of the «Kocham Dębniki» foundation

Photo: private archive

Founder and President of the «Kocham Dębniki» («I Love Dębniki») foundation. Today, the foundation supports over 1300 Ukrainian families. In February 2022, she put her life and career on hold to stand with Ukrainian women and families seeking refuge from the war in Poland.

Olga strives to help Ukrainian women and their children rebuild their shattered lives. She believes that the ability to turn crisis into strength and growth depends on a supportive environment and community: «What I actively aspire to achieve is for this experience to be passed on. And it is happening! Women returning to Ukraine take with them what they have learned here and incorporate it into their lives. They build new communities around them, using the knowledge they have gained here».

Anna Suśka-Jakubowska

Photo: private archive

Since 2013, Anna Jakubowska has worked at the Camillian Mission for Social Assistance, coordinating a project to prepare apartments for the homeless. Following the outbreak of the full-scale invasion, she was responsible for temporary accommodation for refugees at the social boarding house «Saint Lazarus» and helped refugee families settle into rented flats.

Nominees for the «Portraits of sisterhood» Award, Ukraine:

Yuliia «Taira» Paievska - servicewoman, paramedic

Photo: private archive

Yuliia Paievska, known by the callsign «Taira», provided medical aid to participants of the Revolution of Dignity. As the leader of the volunteer paramedic unit «Taira’s Angels», she conducted tactical medical training on the frontline from 2014 to 2018. On March 16th 2022, during the defence of Mariupol, she was captured by Russian forces and was released on June 17th 2022.

In 2023, Yuliia Paievska became a laureate of the International Women of Courage award. The US State Department honoured her with the title of «The World’s Bravest Woman». Additionally, she received an award at the «Invictus Games» in Germany. She has been decorated with the President of Ukraine’s distinction «For Humanitarian Participation in the Anti-Terrorist Operation» and the «People’s Hero of Ukraine» order. Currently, Taira has joined the 13th Brigade of the National Guard of Ukraine, «Khartia».

Olena Apchel - film director, servicewoman

Photo: private archive

Olena Apchel is a theatre scholar, director and volunteer. She actively participated in the Revolution of Dignity - both at the Kyiv and Kharkiv Maidans. From 2021 to 2022, she headed the social programmes department at Warsaw’s «Nowy Teatr». During this time, she became one of the active members of the Ukrainian volunteer community in Poland. In the Autumn of 2022, she moved to Berlin, where she worked as co-director of Theatertreffen, the largest theatre festival in the German-speaking world.

After three years abroad, Olena Apchel returned to Ukraine. In May 2024, she joined the Armed Forces of Ukraine.

Mariana Mamonova - former Kremlin captive, psychotherapist, founder of a charity foundation

Photo: private archive

Mariana Mamonova joined the military in 2018, where she met her future husband, a National Guard service member. In the spring of 2022, the military medic was captured while three months pregnant. She was exchanged just three days before giving birth.

Following her release, Mamonova founded a charity foundation to assist women who have survived Russian captivity. Helping these women has become not just her job but her life's mission: «The goal of our foundation is to support women who have endured captivity. To help them rehabilitate - mentally, physically, and spiritually». The foundation also provides assistance to pregnant wives of service members, pregnant veterans, and pregnant women who have lost their husbands in the war.

Olga Rudnieva - CEO of Superhumans Center

Photo: private archive

Olga Rudnieva is the CEO and co-founder of the Superhumans Center, a clinic providing psychological assistance, prosthetics, reconstructive surgery, and rehabilitation for people affected by war. From the first days of the war, she led the largest logistics hub in Europe - HelpUkraine Center, created in partnership with Nova Poshta, Rozetka, and the TIS terminal.

From 2004 to August 2022, she served as the director of the Olena Pinchuk Foundation and was the coordinator of the sexual education space, Dialog Hub. She is also a co-founder of Veteran Hub, a centre providing comprehensive services for veterans.

Under Olga’s leadership, some of the most extensive media campaigns and charitable concerts have taken place, including performances by Elton John, Queen, and Paul McCartney. Over the past seven years, she has consistently been listed among Ukraine’s most successful women by NV and Ukrainska Pravda. In 2024, Olga was included in the BBC’s Top 100 Women of the Year.

Oleksandra Mezinova - director and founder of the «Sirius» animal shelter

Photo: private archive

Oleksandra Mezinova manages the «Sirius» shelter in Fedorivka, near Kyiv. Before the war, it was home to 3500 animals. Currently, the shelter houses just over 3200 - despite military personnel and volunteers constantly bringing in rescued cats, dogs, and other animals. Each month, the shelter takes in around 50 to 60 animals, many from frontline areas and combat zones. The shelter is involved in rescuing, treating, sterilising, and rehoming animals, as well as conducting educational and awareness-raising work. Additionally, «Sirius» supports low-income pet owners, mini-shelters, and their caretakers, who are often elderly people.

This year, the shelter marks its 25th anniversary. Over this time, more than 13 thousand animals have been rescued, with over 10 thousand finding loving homes. In 2023, «Sirius» received the honorary award «Choice of the Country». In 2022, its founder, Oleksandra Mezinova, was awarded the Order of Princess Olga.

Liudmyla Huseinova - human rights defender, head of the NGO «Numo, Sestry!»

Photo: Sasha Maslov

Since the beginning of the occupation, from 2014 to her arrest in 2019, Liudmyla Huseinova cared for children from a disbanded orphanage in the occupied Novoazovsk district. She brought them clothes, as well as Ukrainian books and postcards from free Ukrainian territory. She also assisted Ukrainian soldiers defending Mariupol at the time. She received a signed Ukrainian flag from them, which she managed to smuggle into the occupied territory and hide. The flag was not discovered during a search and remains hidden to this day.

Following her arrest in 2019, she was taken to «Isolation» and later transferred to the Donetsk detention centre. On October 17th 2022, Huseinova was released as part of a «women’s exchange». She now focuses on defending the rights of those affected by conflict-related sexual violence, former civilian prisoners, and supporting women who are still in captivity or under occupation. On 6 December, she founded and took leadership of the NGO «Numo, Sestry!», which unites women who have survived captivity, conflict-related sexual violence, torture, and other consequences of Russia’s war against Ukraine.

Partners of the «Portraits of sisterhood» award:

  • Ambasada Ukrainy w Rzeczpospolitej Polskiej
  • Patronat Honorowy Prezydenta Miasta Sopot
  • Kulczyk Foundation
  • Przemysław Krych
  • Ulatowski Family Foundation
  • Federacja Przedsiębiorców Polskich
  • Fundacja PKO BP
  • Foundation Kredo
  • Fundacja Edukacja dla Demokracji
  • Polsko-Amerykańska Fundacja Wolności
  • Wspieramy Ukrainę
  • Żabka
  • YES
  • Nova Post
  • TVP Info
  • PAP
  • Onet
  • Espreso TV
  • NV.ua
  • New Eastern Europe
  • СУП

We also encourage our readers to take part in the voting and choose the leader who deserves the special «Portraits of sisterhood» Readers' Award. To vote, simply follow this link. Voting will be open until February 22nd 2025.

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«Portraits of sisterhood» award: Sestry to Announce winners in March

Sestry
LGBT Ukrainians Germany Berlin war

«Rainbow» symbolism for the enemy is a signal for humiliation, mockery, violence and murder»

- Before the full-scale invasion, I was a co-founder and director of the organisation «Insha» in Kherson, - says Maryna Usmanova. - Since 2014, it has been protecting the rights of women and LGBT community representatives. We organised informative events, training sessions for police and local authorities and advocated for the opening of a shelter for victims of domestic violence.

Maryna Usmanova. Photo: FB
During the occupation, we evacuated people from the Kherson region. We managed to evacuate over 300 people: LGBT community representatives, activists, journalists and military wives. Those for whom staying meant death

The charity organisation «Insha» and the team of the NGO «Projector» jointly documented war crimes against LGBT+ individuals on the then-occupied and later liberated territory of the Kherson region. Instances of brutal abuse by Russian soldiers were recorded. «Rainbow» symbols on phones or tattoos were signals for humiliation, mockery, violence and murder.

According to the NGO «Projector» report, Russian soldiers deliberately sought out LGBT community members. For example, there is evidence that Russian soldiers forced men to undress, checked smartphones for same-sex dating apps and severely beat them for it. Aleksandr was detained at a checkpoint by Russian soldiers, pushed into their van and taken to a temporary detention facility just because he was part of the LGBT+ community. He was beaten initially in the facility. Then a red dress was brought, and he was forced to wear it. In this dress, he was taken to an interrogation with an FSB officer. Aleksandr’s answers displeased the Russians, so he was added to a list and kept under arrest. According to him, being on this list «allowed» the guards to beat him, torture him with electric shocks, force him to eat the Ukrainian flag and more. Sexual violence was common in the facility. Medical care was not provided, detainees were fed once a day, and access to a shower was granted only to those who «deserved» it. To get permission for a shower, guards forced detainees into sexual acts. Aleksandr was held captive for 64 days. He was released but ordered to sing the Russian anthem every morning for ten days in a row while being watched from another building with binoculars to ensure compliance.

And there are countless such examples.

- Now the «Insha» organisation is still active, and part of the community still lives in Kherson, - continues Maryna Usmanova. - For instance, we received a grant for an initiative to provide the city with bicycles. Kherson currently has problems with public transport, and walking around the city is unsafe. So we purchased bicycles, brought them to Kherson and distributed them to those in need. Another initiative of ours is the evacuation of art objects. We managed to save many valuable exhibits.

But staying in Kherson was far too dangerous for me, and I had to leave. In the city, I was a public activist. I was invited to appear on television and radio. At the same time, the registered address of our organisation was effectively my home. It was not difficult to find me as an LGBT activist. Moreover, before the full-scale invasion, an advocacy campaign for the crisis centre was conducted, and billboards featuring, among others, my face were displayed throughout the city. If you googled «Kherson LGBT», the system would provide plenty of information about me.

As I later learned, they were looking for me. So, if I had not left, I probably would not be speaking with you now.

«Everyone needs their own community. Especially Ukrainians at this time»

- We ended up in Berlin «via Australia». In the sense that a Kherson activist we knew, who had moved to Australia long ago, helped us find people in Berlin willing to assist us.

We were housed in an anarchist commune. There were seven of us, plus a cat and a Malamute dog. All of us lived in one room for eight months. But it was far from the worst option, and we are very grateful. Anarchists are saints (laughs, - Edit.).

Once we adapted, we began meeting with other activists. One day, along with Loki von Dorn, we decided that we wanted to establish our own organisation.

Now, the Kwitne Queer community comprises over 100 people. We are the only organisation for queer Ukrainians in Western Europe. We meet approximately once a week to discuss plans, organise discussions, lectures, mutual support groups, play «Mafia» and celebrate holidays together. Everyone needs their own community, especially Ukrainians at this time.

The Kwitne Queer team consists of five people: Kyrylo Kozakov, Maryna Usmanova, Loki von Dorn, Hala Korniienko and Mariyana Polevikova. All of them are in Berlin due to the war. Private archive

After all, you might come to a supposedly friendly place, and then you are confronted with unfriendly questions about politics as a Ukrainian: «Why is your Zelensky fighting with Russia?» And often, these questions are not from Russians but from people from Kazakhstan or Azerbaijan. It is clear that after such questions, it is difficult to consider such a community your own.

One of our important projects is «Your Friendly Interpreter». Each of us occasionally needs to visit doctors, government institutions, job centres and so on. However, Ukrainians still largely do not know German. How then can one explain to a gynaecologist, for example, that despite someone having a beard, they have female reproductive organs? There are many issues where it is impossible to be effective without an interpreter.

In Germany, there are charity foundations that provide free interpreters, such as the «Caritas» organisation. But. First of all, it is a religious organisation. Secondly, they mostly provide Ukrainians with Russian interpreters. Because there are many of them. And you cannot choose your own interpreter because it is a free service.

Imagine a transgender person going to a gynaecologist accompanied by a homophobic, Ukrainophobic elderly woman interpreter. I once went to a therapist in the company of just such a person. She told me that «all Ukrainians are Banderites» and so on, following the well-known Russian narratives

That is why we came up with a solution: a person goes to the doctor, calls our Ukrainian interpreter via Telegram from there, and they translate on speakerphone. We already have five specialists, and experience shows that this option is much more comfortable than what local charity foundations offer. This service is very popular with us.

One of my dreams and goals is to have my own shelter or social apartment - a queer hostel. Berlin has a huge housing problem. From time to time, people find themselves on the streets. They need a safe place to get through difficult times or a gap between housing contracts.

Mayor of Berlin Kai Wegner (centre, in a white shirt and jeans) and Ukrainian Ambassador to Germany Oleksii Makeiev at the CSD Pride. Photo: genderstream.org

Every year, we participate in the Berlin Pride, one of the largest in Europe. Ukrainian Ambassador to Germany Oleksii Makeiev joins the Ukrainian column, delivers a speech, and last year, the Mayor of Berlin Kai Wegner spoke from our float.

Does Berlin have problems with homophobia? At the legislative level, everything is excellent. But on the level of personal communication - not always. Germans have already learned that homophobia is bad, that it makes you appear at least uneducated. But in Berlin, Germans have long been less than half the population. Many people from other countries bring their homophobia with them.

«I chose Berlin because I felt safe here»

Another co-founder of Kwitne Queer, Loki von Dorn, a non-binary person, human rights advocate, activist and actor, shares:

- Even before the full-scale invasion, I broke my leg - and the fracture was quite serious, with fragments. When the war began, because of my leg, I could not join the Territorial Defence or even a volunteer headquarters - they would not take me. In March, I finally had surgery, and an implant was placed to fix the bone. Fighter jets were flying over the city of Dnipro at that time. I lay there thinking I would not even have time to hide if the Russians started bombing.

At the end of May, I decided to leave. I went to Germany because I had many acquaintances there, although, in the end, it was new acquaintances who helped me. I chose Berlin because it is the most welcoming to queer people. Here I felt safe. Berlin reminds me of my favourite cities in Ukraine: a bit of Dnipro, a bit of Odesa, and a bit of Kyiv.

Loki von Dorn: «In Germany, there is a voice for everyone. Unfortunately, that includes Russians too. That is why it is important to have our Ukrainian community». Private archive

I had no money, did not know the language, and the documents took a long time to process. My housing was only for a month. In six months, I changed the roof over my head eight times. Sometimes I slept on the floor. Despite this, I adapted quickly and immediately started looking for activities.

It is hard for creative professionals to find work in Berlin. Because here, every other person is an «artist». You are not competitive here due to the vast number of people like you

As a professional activist, I sought opportunities primarily in this direction. I had known Maryna Usmanova from Ukraine. In Berlin, I attended events she organised for the Ukrainian queer community. And one day at the end of 2022, we decided to create an organisation for Ukrainians who found themselves here because of the war.

In February 2023, we began the process of registering Kwitne Queer. We wrote the charter, submitted the documents, and only in August 2024 did we receive official non-profit organisation status. Until then, we worked as volunteers. Registering your non-profit organisation in Germany is not easy at all. For example, we are still waiting for our account to be set up, without which we cannot receive grants or spend grant money.

Our main mission is to support equal opportunities and inclusion for queer Ukrainians in Germany, facilitating their interaction. We all need support. Because sometimes you cannot predict the criterion by which you will be discriminated against: whether for being queer, a refugee or Ukrainian.

Recently, we were formally accepted into the Alliance of Ukrainian Organisations. Interestingly, the Ukrainian Orthodox Church is among the members of this alliance. They were not against it. Along with other organisations in the Alliance, we share a space where we can host our events.

At the time of this article's publication, the Kwitne Queer organisation officially opened an account in a German bank, received a grant from one of Berlin's district centres, and launched an official website. So, new initiatives lie ahead.

20
хв

«Free translators for Ukrainians in Germany - most of them are homophobic Russians. We decided to protect the queer community»

Kseniya Minchuk

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