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The map of Borsch, bitterness and tenderness

I can only wonder what the refugees have been through. Possibility of such an experience has always terrified me more than any attacks on Kyiv. But I'd never ask my friend if she considered going back to Ukraine with the war still going on. I have never been in her shoes, I do not know all the details. I do not bring up such subjects while talking to my friends who have fled abroad. Still, though, they always start discussing it first…

Iryna Tsilyk

Iryna Tsilyk. Photo: Anastasia Tyha

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I lie on a couch in a small kitchen somewhere in Warsaw, enjoying the aromas - onions, beetroots, carrots and tomatoes are quietly simmering in the pan. Such is the smell of the prospect of being fed borsch.

My friend is cozily bustling by the stove while I exhale my fatigue after an early flight from Paris. It is still 5 hours until my train to Kyiv, and I stopped by with a bottle of wine and a bag of sweets (there are also two little fans of Haribo gummy bears in this house). In return, I received coffee with treats, plenty of conversation and an unexpected homely feeling of comfort you only find at your mom’s or your other closest ones’ places, where you can visit without any formalities and shamelessly sprawl on the couch while lunch is being prepared.

Why have I not taken advantage of this great offer before? - I think to myself. After all, I fly often, and the opportunity to visit someone I know for coffee in a foreign city is a big help. However, this also concerns unfamiliar people.

I remember writing a Facebook post once asking if anyone was willing to let me in to take a shower at their place in Warsaw. I then received dozens of warm invitations, mostly from Ukrainian women I did not know. Well, now I actually do have a place to drink coffee and shower in almost every Polish or European city.

This is also a mark of our new reality: there are many Ukrainian women scattered around the world as of late, and the majority (at least, those whom I know personally) yearn for the opportunity to see each other, talk face to face and envelop their kin in their kindness.

My thoughts are interrupted by a joyful girl hopping into the kitchen on one foot. She is wearing a cast on her second leg, though she does not seem bothered by this problem at all. «Mom, you promised us lody (ice cream in Polish)!» Over two years of this family's life in Poland is evident in the way this girl and her brother communicate in a tender mix of Ukrainian and Polish words.

«Yes-yes, we’re going now», - my friend agrees, and like a multi-armed Indian goddess, she manages to simultaneously tend to her borsch, prepare the temporarily rented stroller, help her daughter get dressed for the walk - all with such ease that I’m candidly amazed by her.

- It’s the antidepressants, - she laughs. - You know, things have brightened up lately. I even realised I don’t yell at the kids anymore. At all! Can you imagine?

And so, I will spend a couple more hours in this house, observing this family’s life. Of course, my observations will be shallow and incomplete, the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, and even so I will still be able to experience many things.

«You know, I rarely even allow myself to have a glass of wine over here, - my friend says, placing the wine bottle I brought on the top shelf. - Just the other day, we had this broken leg from a bicycle accident… Ugh, what a nightmare it was. And I realised once again that I can't afford to relax even for a moment. Injuries and things like that always happen unexpectedly.»

How can I afford a moment of weakness or an unclear conscience if I am the only one responsible for the children here? I am the only adult here, you understand?

I’m not sure if I do understand, as I have never been in her place. And even though there were times in my life when my husband was on the frontlines, and I would end up being the only adult taking care of our son, my closest relatives and friends would still be beside me - what’s there to say - when you are home, even the walls seem to help.

«What remains», Anna Reinert-Faleńczyk. A painting from the «I do not sleep, when there’s a war» exhibition

While I can only wonder about what the displaced people have been through. The possibility of such an experience has always terrified me more than any attacks on Kyiv. But I would never ask my friend if she would consider going back to Ukraine while the war is still going on. I have never been in her shoes, I do not know all the circumstances. I do not bring up such subjects while talking to my friends who have fled abroad. Still, though, they always start discussing it first.

«I feel like I’m suspended between worlds, - my friend tells me. - I don’t want to put down roots in Poland, to build my life here. I want to go home more than anything. But...» Yes, there are plenty of these bitter «buts» in her life. This woman is divorced and is raising her children mostly on her own, she does not have a place to live in Kyiv, and the money for rent is scarce, as it is hard to find a job back home with her specific profession. And she has found a job here, in Poland. Not the one she’s dreamed of but she gets paid. And the kids have been going to school for two years already, learning the language and finding friends.

My friend’s son, who’s been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, was fortunate with his school - he fits in well, which is very important. Her daughter enjoys going to various clubs, which are free here. And most importantly - the war in Ukraine is not over yet.

- However I constantly feel as if I’m doing the splits between two realities

«And the feeling of this perpetuating impermanence, and simultaneously of persistent root spreading in a country where I don’t plan to live simply destroys me. - she confesses, pouring odorous borch on my plate. - Even though I want to come home badly, I cannot bring myself to start the process of returning just yet».

Changed identities

Suddenly, I’m overtaken by a déjà vu, as I recently had the same conversation, and I was being fed the same delicious borsch in Vilnius. However, my friend's situation there is even more acute: she is a single mother of many children, and their home in eastern Ukraine is in a war zone. There is no way to return right now, and will there ever be any?

It’s difficult for her to keep her head above water in another country: her family does not receive any special support from Lithuania, and she’s paying for rent herself, which basically completely consumes her modest salary and her first-year student daughter’s scholarship. Her younger children study in school, catching up to their local classmates in performance, and her youngest daughter has adapted to the kindergarten’s environment so well that you can hardly tell which language is her first - Lithuanian or Ukrainian…

This friend of mine, a mother of five, has acquired a completely new profession abroad as a trolley bus driver. This responsibility terrified her at first, she even lost 10 kilograms during her first months on the job, but she has gotten around to it.

«What I’m grateful for, among other things, is that Lithuanians give forced migrants the opportunity to study for free. Yes, I have to pay back the money invested in me during my first 6 months on the job but I find it fair. I’m considering learning to become a bus driver as well. Not every Ukrainian city has trolley buses…»

This painful topic hangs between us.

My friend keeps on stubbornly planning her future in Ukraine, but right now, all her unanswered questions seem too resemblant to open wounds

Will their house in the Donetsk region still be around if their town is under constant fire right now? And if not, which Ukrainian city is ready to take in such a large family? How are they supposed to rebuild their life there once the war ends? And most importantly, - when will it end?!

As there is also the following problem: my friend and at least one of her sons have a strong reaction to shellings, having lived through the first difficult years of the war in their town. Unlike many Ukrainians, they have not adapted and have not learned to deal with their fear.

There are too many painful questions and too few hints on their possible answers. But my friend is so wistful of her home and talks about it so much… And not just home as a place to live - home in a much broader sense.

«I’m so worried for our nation’s future, - she says to me with an apparent aching. - Our greatest men die on the battlefield, meanwhile so many women have gone abroad with their children».

I listen and look at her with wonder because when I first met this woman, the questions regarding the Ukrainian nation’s fate seemed quite foreign to her, and the Ukrainian language and culture were exotic. Now everything’s changed. War, upheaval and new existential experiences are reshaping our identities, and each of us has our own path and pace. Some people, for instance, only realise their own Ukrainian identity when they lose the ability to live in Ukraine.

There are no easy choices left for us anymore

I have the privilege of staying home in the time of war. Of course, this is a conscious for my family and simultaneously a responsibility for all the possible consequences but it also is a combination of certain favorable factors. Unlike many of my fellow Ukrainians, my house is intact and I live in Kyiv, the most protected city in Ukraine at this moment, and luckily I have not lost the ability to make a living under the circumstances of the war. And there’s also a lot going on behind the scenes.

Undoubtedly, one can talk at length about the various drawbacks of this decision, but my friends and I, who have found ourselves on the other side of the experience, tread carefully on this thin ice. And yet, I am always amazed at how all of them - those who went to Poland, Lithuania, Germany, France, USA and so on, and have not made the decision to stay there - every time we meet, they start explaining and justifying themselves to me, as if the fact that I stayed in Ukraine gives me the right to judge them.

Hey, what are you doing?! No, there are no easy choices left for us anymore. Yes, it will always be a complex mix of entirely polar feelings.

And I listen to you, my dear friends, very carefully about all your tough calls and hard times and ask myself - could I have done the same?

And I cheer for you when I hear about your children’s or your own success in an unfamiliar foreign-speaking environment. I breathe a sigh of relief when such terrible trials as suddenly discovered oncology or other insidious diagnoses are treated for free and with quality in those developed countries where you have ended up. I am not annoyed by your everyday small joys that you are too shy to openly share on social media.

Moreover, frankly, I am proud of you - all these volunteer initiatives, the incredible projects you are driving in your new locations, all this great collective work for Ukraine, its military, image, culture and so on, all of this is very, very important. The Ukrainian diaspora is our superpower, I always say that.

But I won't lie, I often feel bitterness and resentment that the damn war has scattered all of you to distant lands, that prolonged stays in other worlds inevitably affect changes in your mentality and perspective. And it hurts me, God, it hurts me so much, too, that the flower of our nation has been so cut down on various levels.

However, I want to keep believing in our power and unity, I want us to stop bickering among ourselves and learn to listen to each other in this not-so-black-and-white reality. I want to feel that circumstances and distances can not take my close ones away from me. And that someday I will feel more or less at home anywhere, where I will be fed with sincere Ukrainian borsch.

Artem Chekh’s photo

…Having thanked my host for the hospitality, I’m leaving Warsaw once again to catch one of my many trains to Kyiv. I often travel this way and already have a collection of usual observations. These trains, connecting Ukraine and Poland, are always full of our women and children who are carrying heavy luggage, learning various languages (oh, the everpresent sound of Duolingo!), who have special documents confirming the legitimacy of their stay abroad, generously share the conditions of their new lives, complain or praise themselves, who are sad or laughing, explaining themselves or defending their decisions quite aggressively, even when no one challenged them. There is so much poignancy in all of this.

On the road, I observe the cheerful little daughter of another passenger for a while. She must be two or three years old, she’s active and constantly chattering about everything under the sun. However, I find it hard to understand her. «She speaks German better than Ukrainian now», - her mother says, embarrassed and almost apologetic to everyone. Well, that happens. Especially during the endless balancing between different worlds.

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Ukrainian film director and writer. Director of the documentary film «The Earth Is Blue as an Orange», which won the Best Director award at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival and the Taras Shevchenko National Prize of Ukraine in 2023. Director of the film «Me and Felix», based on the novel «Who Are You?» by Ukrainian writer Artem Chekh, who also is Iryna’s husband. Author of eight books (poetry, prose, children's literature), including «Depth of Field» and «Red on Black Traces». Her works have been translated into English, German, French, Polish, Czech, Greek, Italian, Turkish and other languages. During Russia's full-scale war in Ukraine, she began writing columns and essays for international publications, including Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, Sonntags Zeitung (Germany), Weekendavisen (Denmark), Dwutygodnik (Poland) and others. Tsilyk's essays are included in the collection «Ukraine 22», published in the UK by Penguin Random House (2023). Iryna's essay «Another Life» became part of a fundraising project in collaboration with American photographer Jim Goldberg (Stanley/Barker, 2022). Another essay, «The Path of the Ouroboros», was included in a book about Swiss artist Miriam Cahn, published in Paris (2023).

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Even a small contribution to real journalism helps strengthen democracy. Join us, and together we will tell the world the inspiring stories of people fighting for freedom!

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The first and foremost is the experienced political strategist Susie Wiles. Aged 68, she currently holds the position of Chief of Staff at the White House and controls access to the president. It was she who insisted that technology billionaire Elon Musk should not be granted a private office in the White House. Otherwise, he would never leave the Oval Office.

Susie Wiles has been by Trump’s side for many years. Photo: Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images/AFP/East News

Susie began her career in political PR in 1979. Coincidentally, her first job was at the office of Jack Kemp - a Republican and, crucially, also a star of American football and a teammate of Susie’s father on the New York Giants. This role became a springboard for the young professional into the world of high-level politics - by 1980, she had already joined the presidential campaign of the new Republican star Ronald Reagan. In fact, it was on Wiles’s advice that Trump regularly quoted this great American and even reworked his political slogan to suit his own agenda.

After working on the presidential campaigns of George W. Bush and Mitt Romney, Wiles decided to monetise her expertise and earn wealth from commercial clients. This enterprising lady founded consultancy and lobbying firms, which made her not only a successful political consultant but also a wealthy one. In her best years, she had more than 40 clients, including entire countries such as Qatar and Nigeria, as well as tobacco giants. Elon Musk’s SpaceX and telecommunications monopolist AT&T also sought Wiles’s assistance.

In 2015, while enjoying the sunshine and palm trees of Florida, Donald Trump entertained an intriguing idea - to run for President of the United States. He therefore hired the successful lobbyist and political strategist - the two appreciated each other and began to work together.

Trump calls her «ice baby» and repeated the nickname during his speech at his Mar-a-Lago estate after it became clear he had won the election. The media, however, upgraded this «ice baby» to a more mature «Ice Queen»

Wiles’s colleagues highlight her strengths as a strategist. She brought the much-needed order to Trump’s campaign, managed its narrative (to the extent possible with Trump himself), and demonstrated her outstanding organisational skills. One of Wiles’s colleagues even described her as Trump’s longest-serving adviser, present at all his key meetings. Within the president’s circle, it is said that he frequently includes her in phone calls concerning political matters.

As often happens, the media sometimes receives leaks, such as about a secret Signal chat, where Wiles showed her firm character and hinted at the dismissal of National Security Adviser Mike Waltz.

Regarding her management style, in what is perhaps her only interview since her appointment, she told Axios:

«I do not welcome people who want to operate solo or become stars. My team and I will not tolerate backstabbing, inappropriate speculations or intrigue».

At one point, Wiles successfully dealt with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who challenged Trump in the primaries and even demanded that Wiles be dismissed from the campaign. When he dropped out of the race in January 2024, Wiles simply posted on social media: «Bye-bye».

The 2024 election campaign, which Wiles led alongside political consulting veteran Chris LaCivita, was successful and passed without major scandals

Trump followed advice, remained calm and used social media less frequently. At the same time, he appeared on young podcasters’ shows and danced for TikTok, which helped attract new voters.

Establishing contact with Susie Wiles is essential if one wishes to access the very brain of the President of the United States. Moreover, she controls the movements of all Trump’s friends and acquaintances within the White House, which is precisely why the musician Kid Rock appears there from time to time, but golf buddies are seen less often.

Another key woman who helped make Trump president twice is the charismatic Christian preacher Paula White. She recently became head of the newly established Office of Faith Affairs, which, among other things, is tasked with promoting religious freedom not only nationally but also internationally. During Trump’s first term, Paula White also worked on religious matters, though on a more modest scale.

The charismatic Paula White is always at the side of the President of the United States. Photo: Brynn Anderson/Associated Press/East News

The attractive blonde has known the Trump family since 2001. She is a star of Christian television, with her sermons filling stadiums and concert venues. Clearly, at some point, Trump heard Paula White working with an audience, became inspired by her prosperity theology - according to which material success is a sign of divine grace - and decided that such faith suited him.

If one closely observes the pastor’s speeches, it becomes evident that Trump copied her manner of speaking and gesticulation

The trust in White is so great that during his first term, she served as chair of the Evangelical Advisory Board for Trump’s 2016 campaign, and she became the first female clergy member to deliver a prayer at the inauguration on January 20th 2017.

Pastor White supported Trump in the 2020 presidential race, delivering a prayer at his campaign launch event. Similarly, during the 2024 election campaign, she was actively involved in the future president’s team. This accounts for the high support among the Christian electorate.

Paula White is known for her staunch support of Israel and has even appeared on lists such as «The 50 Best Christian Allies of Israel»

For Ukrainians, a significant fact is that from the very beginning of the invasion, Pastor White organised humanitarian aid for Ukrainian refugees in European countries, regularly reporting this on her website. Therefore, establishing contact with Paula White is a task for every Protestant pastor. It is a guaranteed path straight to Trump’s heart.

In her new role, Paula White will be working closely with the new Attorney General of the United States, Pam Bondi. In parallel with White’s appointment, Bondi was named head of a task force to «eradicate anti-Christian bias», which is intended to put an end to «all forms of anti-Christian attacks and discrimination within the federal government».

Pam Bondi is part of Trump’s inner circle. Photo: Ben Curtis/Associated Press/East News

The 59-year-old former head of the Florida state prosecutor’s office has pledged to maintain the independence of the Department of Justice and «not involve politics in its operations» - amid concerns that Trump intends to take control of the agency and exact revenge on those who led investigations against him and his supporters regarding the refusal to recognise the election results and the storming of the Capitol in 2021.

Interestingly, Bondi was not the president’s first choice for the post of Attorney General. Initially, Trump intended to assign the role to Matt Gaetz. However, before the appointment, the United States Congressional Ethics Committee discovered that Gaetz had spent over 90 thousand dollars making payments to 12 women, a significant number of whom were allegedly linked to services involving underage prostitution and drug use.

Ironically, during Trump’s first presidential term, Pam Bondi chaired the commission on the abuse of narcotic and opioid substances. Recently, the lawyer has been consulting for the America First Policy Institute - an organisation with considerable influence over the newly elected president’s political agenda.

On her first day as Attorney General of the United States, Pam Bondi decided to shut down the special unit tasked with seizing the assets of Russian oligarchs. Instead, the lawyer declared that the new enemy of the United States is the drug cartels

Nevertheless, Russian oligarchs certainly cannot expect the immediate return of their yachts. At the same time, Bondi did not state that the cases handled by the now-disbanded KleptoCapture unit would be closed. It is likely they will continue, although there will no longer be a dedicated team focusing exclusively on this activity. It is also possible that new cases will be launched.

Recently, Pam Bondi demonstrated her loyalty to her chief. She officially declared that it is unlikely criminal proceedings will be initiated over the transmission of sensitive military information via an unsecured Signal chat, in which Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth shared a plan for an airstrike on targets in Yemen.

The Attorney General intends to maintain Trump’s legal peace and protect him from the consequences of his past actions. Like the first two women, she belongs to Trump’s closest circle and is expected to remain with him until the end of his current term.

This project is co-financed by the Polish-American Freedom Foundation within the framework of the «Support Ukraine» programme implemented by the Education for Democracy Foundation

20
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The three key women behind Trump. Who turned Donald into a politician and a Christian?

Maryna Danyliuk-Yarmolayeva

The Estonian politician has a reputation as a «Russophobe» because she can convincingly explain why Russia should not be trusted on land, in the Baltic Sea or at the negotiating table. It is rare to find someone in Brussels who calls things by their proper names. Kaja Kallas openly states that the war against Ukraine is not a minor regional conflict but rather a piece in a grand game where the ultimate prize is bringing Moscow’s subjects to heel.

The Estonian Prime Minister’s stance is so strong in the Western world that her name was among the finalists for the position of NATO’s new Secretary General
Photo: JONATHAN NACKSTRAND/AFP/East News

Here, an intriguing detail must be added: the refined blonde with a steely character is the Kremlin’s worst nightmare. She is not merely banned from entering Russia, as is the case with most rational EU politicians, but she is also the first government official whom Moscow has officially placed on a criminal wanted list for «desecration of a historical monument».

The reason - the decommunisation and removal of numerous monuments from the Soviet occupation period, carried out by Kallas’s government. Russia was particularly adamant about preserving a Soviet tank in the border town of Narva, where ethnic Russians significantly outnumber locals.

Previous Estonian governments had raised the issue of relocating the tank, which symbolised not so much the fight against Nazism as it did Russian militarism. However, fears lingered - the mass riots in Tallinn in 2007 (the so-called «Bronze Night»), carried out by local Russians and agitators from Russia in response to the relocation of a monument to a Soviet soldier in the Estonian capital, heightened concerns that another move could trigger a repeat of those events, from street clashes to cyberattacks on government websites. However, in the summer of 2022, after visiting the de-occupied town of Bucha, Kallas took the issue to a new level. In the end, despite the complaints of Russian speakers, the tank was sent to storage.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Kaja Kallas in Tallinn. January 2024. Photo: Associated Press/East News

In 2023, when the politician was already being named among those who could join the new European top elite, she gave an interview to British hard-talker Stephen Sackur. At the time, the journalist asked whether her heart was open to the 25% of Russian speakers who complained of severe oppression - they were not allowed to enter Estonia with Russian car number plates. Interestingly, the loudest outcries came from the so-called Russian opposition. Kallas’s response was firm:

- You are confusing two things. Russians who live here, we call Russian-speaking Estonians. And Russia is a separate matter. I want to point out that, firstly, in the 1920s, Russians in Estonia made up 3%. By the end of the occupation, it was 30%. So it is not as if they had always lived here...

- Are you saying that they are not real Estonians? - Sackur clarified.

- No, no. I am saying that those who want to be part of Estonia, who consider Estonia their home, have applied for citizenship, learned the language and are part of our society - they constitute the majority of our Russian-speaking population. We ask for only one thing: learn our language, because that is who we are, we live here - and it is a way to integrate them. Furthermore, I want to emphasise that even if we have a different history, we share a common future, and we are focused on that.

It felt like a cold shower, as nothing like this had ever been heard on the BBC.

Kallas takes a very sober view of today's threats due to her poignant family history

In March 2022, she wrote a column for the New York Times explaining why Russia’s occupation of Ukraine and its repressive actions reveal its true face.

«My mother was just a six-month-old baby when, in 1949, the Soviet authorities deported her along with her mother and grandmother to Siberia. My grandfather was sent to a Siberian labour camp. They were lucky to survive and return to Estonia, but many did not. Today, the Kremlin is reviving methods of outright barbarism», - Kallas admitted.

Young Kaja Kallas with her father. Photo: IG Kallas

Her father, Siim Kallas, played a central role in Estonia’s independence movement and was the president of the country’s central bank. When the young Kaja decided to try her hand at politics, many advised her against it. Some doubted that a model-like woman could also be intelligent, while others even called her a «daddy’s girl».

However, by 2014, Kallas, as a Member of the European Parliament, had already proven herself an expert in digitalisation and had become an advocate for Ukraine at the outset of the war with Russia. It is important to clarify - this was at a time when global leaders were reluctant to confront Moscow and saw no major issue with the annexation of Crimea. After all, there had been a referendum, people had chosen Russia. What was the problem?

As Europe's chief diplomat, Kallas has a very clear-eyed assessment of the risks facing Europe

Above all, these include various hybrid threats across the EU - sabotage, cyberattacks, the shadow fleet, GPS disruptions and damage to cables. She is pushing for increased funding for security and defence, as simply relying on Washington’s nuclear umbrella in the Trump era is akin to suicide.

Kaja Kallas is convinced that the European Union must launch its own defence industry, as she stated in an interview with Suspilne in December 2024:

- The defence industry is crucial because a war is raging on European soil, in Ukraine, and Putin shows no signs of abandoning his objectives.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen and European chief diplomat Kaja Kallas. Photo: Geert Vanden Wijngaert/Associated Press/East News

As the rational voice of Brussels, she has subtly explained to the United States why supporting Ukraine is in America's best interests:

- If America is concerned about China, then it must first worry about Russia. We see that Russia, Iran, North Korea and China are working together. We also see what Putin is doing in other countries, actively expanding his influence. So, if the US wants to remain the world’s strongest power, it will ultimately have to deal with Russia. The easiest way to handle this is to support Ukraine so it wins the war.

Ukrainian diplomats who maintain close contact with Brussels all unanimously note that a new generation of competent and determined women has entered European politics. They are professional, steadfast in their positions and fully aware of their identity and purpose. The name Kaja Kallas is mentioned most often. She is not just a self-made woman but also a descendant of Estonians whom Russia deported like cattle to Siberia, hoping that no one would survive the lumber camps.

Yet Kallas’s mother survived and instilled in her daughter an understanding of why Russia is an enemy and why its favourite pastime is killing and looting

The Estonian with an unyielding character has become the loudest voice of Eastern Europe in Brussels, representing the very region that Moscow stubbornly considers its sphere of influence. However, as time and experience show, small nations also have a voice and teeth. They can bite the throat of the predator that pushes in uninvited.

The project is co-financed by the Polish-American Freedom Foundation as part of the «Support Ukraine» programme, implemented by the «Education for Democracy» Foundation

20
хв

«Russophobe at the helm of Europe»: how Estonian Kaja Kallas became Eastern Europe’s loudest voice in Brussels

Maryna Danyliuk-Yarmolayeva

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