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Ganna Yarovenko: «My concentration camp survivor grandfather taught me that freedom is the most precious thing in life»

Despite illness and being in a foreign country, Ganna Yarovenko did not give up and continued to create. Particularly, she is creating a movie «Mama's Voice» - about a Ukrainian and a Polish family who live under one roof and are united by the war and music

Nataliia Zhukovska

Ganna Yarovenko - Ukrainian journalist and film director. Photo: private archive

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Ganna Yarovenko is a Ukrainian journalist and filmmaker. Since the start of the full-scale war, she, along with her mother and children, found refuge in the Polish town of Mława. Despite everything, Ganna continues to work on her film projects. She is currently working on a documentary titled «Mama's Voice», which tells the story of an extraordinary friendship between a Polish and a Ukrainian mother amidst the war and the psychological crises their families have faced.

Waking up in Kyiv - falling asleep in Warsaw

I was in Kyiv when the full-scale war began. We had not prepared any emergency suitcases, just gathered our important documents. At 5 am, I woke up to the sound of wailing cars. My windows overlook the Batyeva Hill, and there were flocks of crows, screeching as if we were in medieval times. I immediately knew something was happening. When I turned on the TV, everything became clear. Putin was on the screen, announcing the start of his so-called special operation. My godfather called me and told me a missile had landed near his home. That is when I gathered my children, my mother, and our documents, and we headed to a village near Irpin, where my father lived.

Back in the 1990s, when I was making a program about the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina, one of the key lessons I learned was that when fighting begins, you should head to the countryside. Supposedly, you have a better chance of survival there

There is firewood, water from a well and a garden. However, one saying stuck with me - if you have children - you are as good as dead because they will slow you down in every way. Almost immediately after we arrived, we could hear the sound of fighting and artillery fire in Hostomel, not far from where we were. Fighter jets flew over our house.

Ganna Yarovenko and her daughter Malva. Photo: private archive

I knew we could not stay there. That night, we slept fully dressed, but I could not close my eyes. I did not sleep for three days from the start of the war. At 1 am, I heard a powerful explosion. I screamed, «Get up! You have ten minutes to pack. We are leaving.» As we drove toward Kyiv along the Warsaw Highway, huge columns of military equipment were on the move. At first, I thought they were our Ukrainian tanks, but it turned out they were Russian. Later, I learned that by 6 am, those tanks were shooting at civilian cars in Bucha. Those three hours saved our lives. My mother left with us, but my father stayed behind. The next morning, he found himself under occupation.

Ganna Yarovenko’s parents during the making of «Mama's Voice». Photo: private archive

Simply fate

We spent 25 hours in the long queue at the Ukrainian-Polish border. During that time, I remembered a journalist who once interviewed me when my film «Free People» was shown at the Jagiellonian Festival in Lublin. I wrote to her: «Marianna, I am terribly sorry, but right now I am standing at the border with my mother and two children. What would you recommend I do in this situation?» Almost immediately, through social media, she found a Polish family who agreed to take us in.

Adapting to a foreign country was not easy. First of all, you know nothing. It feels like being thrown into water, like a kitten. Suddenly, you drop to the level of a five-year-old

But the biggest surprise was the Polish family we ended up with - Kaja and Janusz Prusinowski. When they showed us around their home, I saw a disc on the wall titled «Heart». I had brought the same disc home from Lviv in 2015. My ex-husband and I listened to it so much that we practically wore it out. And now, five years later, I found myself meeting the creator of that music in person. I had spent my whole life working with ethnography, making films about folk musicians, and here, under these circumstances, I found myself in the home of Poland’s most renowned folk musicians.

Inside the Polish Prusinowski family home. Photo: private archive

The Poles have a beautiful word: «los». It corresponds to the word fate - something inevitable. And this was exactly that kind of «los» in our lives. The very next day after we arrived, Kaja and I went to the local school. At that time, Orest was 13, and Malva was 5. Orest was immediately accepted into the 7th grade, and Malva into kindergarten. We lived with the Prusinowskis for three months, and it was there that the idea for a new documentary film was born - this time, an autobiographical one. My sister Larisa encouraged me to pursue the idea and even helped with the finances.

«Mama's Voice»

The completed film tells the story of my life with the Polish family from my perspective. It is a story about female strength and mutual support, about how my daughter Malva longs for her father, and how my son Orest is forced to grow up quickly. There are several storylines in the film: one focuses on the strength of women, another on the relationship between father and daughter, their longing for each other, and the impossibility of reuniting. There are also scenes with my parents. In fact, I have a lot of footage that did not make the final cut. With the material I have filmed, I could create a four-part series. Every scene says something meaningful to the viewer.

Ganna Yarovenko: «“Mama's Voice” is about the strength and mutual support between women». Photo: private archive

One of the most philosophical scenes in the film takes place early in the morning when Kaja and I sit by the lake. After surgery on my throat, my voice had become raspy, as if I had smoked my entire life. I wanted to talk about my voice while we were by the lake. Could it ever be restored? Kaja gave me advice and guided me through vocal exercises. We even sang together. It was a strange, dreamlike state - there we were, holding hands, singing a song about the sun, with the lake bathed in sunlight. It was not rehearsed, we had not planned anything in advance. At one point, Kaja whistled a tune and asked: «Do you hear the frogs croaking?». I replied: «Yes, everything alive has its own voice, but I feel half-alive». That scene became the inspiration for the film’s title - «Mama's Voice». Another interesting scene involves making a traditional doll called motanka. I taught Kaja how to make one, and as we worked, we talked about life, children, and our marriages, eventually transitioning to the topics of war and Putin. I suggested: «Let’s make a motanka doll of Putin, cast a spell on it, and burn it». It was a kind of protest, with the hope that the doll would take Putin with it. It was all spontaneous, without consulting any witches or fortune-tellers - it came from a place of genuine impulse and sincerity. The hardest part was watching myself on screen.

It is a purely psychological challenge because you never see yourself objectively. You focus only on your flaws, and I had to wrestle with that. Twice, I have battled cancer. I was a completely different woman before the illness, and it had taken a toll on me physically

The overall concept of the film was to express gratitude to Poland for welcoming my family and four million other Ukrainians as brothers and sisters.

Ganna Yarovenko and Kaja Prusinowska during the making of «Mama's Voice». Photo: private archive

This film is not about how poor and unfortunate we are. It explores women’s friendship and core human values. We started filming in April 2022, and the last day of filming was January 2nd 2024 when a neighbouring building in Kyiv was bombed. The blast shattered the windows and doors of both my apartment and my parents' home. Unfortunately, I do not know what tomorrow will bring, so the film ends with that scene and the acknowledgement that the war continues.

Freedom is the most precious thing

But my life is not just about the films. In the town of Mława, where we still live, we have established a community centre with the support of the St. Nicholas Foundation. We work with Ukrainian children there. Sadly, many of them still speak Russian, and it is during my lessons that they hear Ukrainian. They also open up about their problems. I have introduced a historical component to the centre as well. From time to time, I organise museum tours so the children can learn about the history of Poland, which has been eye-opening for me. Many did not know what the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was. Some thought it was a type of sausage, while others believed it was the name of a medicine. We also have creative workshops where we sculpt, draw and sew. Currently, our team consists of just three people: me, a Ukrainian English teacher and a psychologist. The psychologist helps the older children - those after 8th grade - take career aptitude tests and figure out their future paths.

Of course, we want to return to Ukraine, but only once the war is over

I also have health issues, and I am dependent on medication for the rest of my life. I worry that I will not be able to find the necessary medicines in Ukraine. Currently, I am under the care of an oncology hospital in Warsaw and undergo regular checkups. You know, during the first six months in Poland, I did not feel any emotions. I could not cry or laugh. It was as if I had become like my favourite character from Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow. I do not know why, but sometimes I feel just like him - always finding a way out of the toughest situations. That is how I manage.

Ganna Yarovenko: «I am deeply angry that this war and the Russians have robbed me of time with my father and my children of moments with their grandpa». Photo: private archive

Sometimes, I wonder what post-war Ukraine will be like. I hope our neighbouring countries become independent states, and that Russia collapses. I want Ukraine to become a member of NATO and the EU, and for everyone to stop lying. I do not know how realistic this is. I am deeply angry that this war and the Russians have robbed me of time with my father and my children of moments with their grandfather. Those are moments that will never return. I am furious that the windows of my apartment are shattered, our cities and villages are being destroyed, and people are dying. It is terrifying to think about the world our children are growing up in. My grandfather, who survived a concentration camp, always taught me that the most precious thing in life is freedom. I dream and believe that freedom will always remain with the Ukrainian people.

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A TV host, journalist and author of over three thousand materials on various subjects, including some remarkable journalist investigations that led to changes in local governments. She also writes about tourism, science and health. She got into journalism by accident over 20 years ago. She led her personal projects on the UTR TV channel, worked as a reporter for the news service and at the ICTV channel for over 12 years. While working she visited over 50 countries. Has exceptional skills in storytelling and data analysis. Worked as a lecturer at the NAU’s International Journalism faculty. She is enrolled in the «International Journalism» postgraduate study program: she is working on a dissertation covering the work of Polish mass media during the Russian-Ukrainian war.

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Photographer Evgeniy Maloletka interview

After photographer Evgeniy Maloletka, videographer Mstyslav Chernov and fixer Vasylysa Stepanenko managed to escape the Russian-encircled Mariupol in mid-March 2022, their footage from the first 20 days of the occupation caused a massive global reaction.

Today, Evgeniy Maloletka holds more international and national awards than any other Ukrainian photographer - around 40. Notably, he is a Pulitzer Prize laureate for Public Service, a recipient of the James Foley Award for Conflict Reporting, and the Shevchenko and Georgiy Gongadze national prizes. He also won an Oscar for the documentary «20 Days in Mariupol». We spoke with Evgeniy about the feelings of futility when facing human indifference, the people who helped him escape from occupation, his ambitions to make it into history books and the strategies he uses to avoid burnout.

Evgeniy Maloletka. Photo from a private archive

«Camera does not protect you»

Kseniya Minchuk: How did you start photographing the war?

Evgeniy Maloletka: Although I have a degree in electronic devices and systems engineering, photography captivated me during my student years. I worked for several editorial offices. In 2010, I went to cover the protests in Belarus. After that, I documented both sides of our revolution: the protests for and against Yanukovych, and then Maidan. I worked in conflict zones around the world, including various UN missions in Africa. Eventually, I found myself on the train that brought me to the war.

I am originally from Berdyansk. When I looked at the map and saw Russia intensifying its actions, I realised that a full-scale war was inevitable. And when you understand that something terrible, like war, is about to happen, you ask yourself: «Where do I want to be, and what do I want to do? Where do I need to be to make that happen?» Although when that «terrible» thing arrives, plans can break. But at the very least, you should be technically prepared, which is what I did.

From there, the most important thing is your knowledge and your ability to adapt quickly. The more you know and the faster you react, the more you can accomplish.

- One of the most heart-wrenching photos by Evgeniy Maloletka, and of the war in general, is the series from Mariupol where young parents rush to the hospital with their injured baby, only to learn that the child has died. It is unimaginably devastating. How do you cope with the pain you witness and capture with your camera? Is photography itself a method?

- Definitely not. The camera does not protect you. You keep looking at these people in the photos and you go through it with them. The faces of the parents, and later the doctors - you see the hope fade from their eyes... and that pain never leaves you, it stays with you forever. I live with it. Constantly. I had to learn how to coexist with it.

Photo: Evgeniy Maloletka/AP Photo

The footage from «20 Days in Mariupol» - is the pain that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I saw it live. I have rewatched the film many times, and now I do not cry anymore. But inside, the emotions are still incredibly heavy and intense.

For me, every photo of the war is the most terrifying. They are like flashbacks, like a dream. Like something that happened to someone else. But no - it happened to me.

I am constantly confronted with grief. I have to edit, show it to the world, look at the photos of other photographers. Human bodies, destroyed buildings, lives taken. These emotions are overwhelming. And there is still so much more horror I will have to capture.

Sometimes the things you did not capture are more terrifying

What keeps me going is the awareness that I am doing a small, yet important job. Hoping that it is not in vain. That the world will see it, remember it, because every photograph represents a human story. And it is crucial that we ourselves do not forget our own history. That is why I keep doing it.

Ukrainian soldiers crying next to their comrade’s grave, 2023. Photo: Evgeniy Maloletka/Associated Press/East News

- You have documented the protests against Yanukovych that led to his removal, the pandemic and now the war. Do you see your work as an important mission?

- Sometimes it is disappointing when photos get little attention. But other times, a story I captured goes viral. The more you work and the more your photos are seen and elicit a reaction, the stronger the sense that it is not in vain.

At least, I hope it is not.

I understand that only the things we remember will remain in history

We will remember people’s stories through the photos and videos that moved us. Only a small part of what has happened during this war will make it into history.

I hope the work we are doing will end up in books and textbooks so future generations can learn what our people went through and understand what war really is.

February 19th 2014, Maidan in Kyiv. Photo: Evgeniy Maloletka

- Do you feel any satisfaction from what you do?

- That is a tough question. Yes and no. Because I photograph horrifying things that people do not want to see. And you force them to look. People, especially outside Ukraine, in Europe for example, mostly want to see positive things. Even here, we tend to think like that. If the strike hit the house next door and not ours - thank God! But in that neighbouring house, people died...

- Have there been moments when you could not bring yourself to photograph what was happening?

- Of course. There were times when I put the camera down and helped because no one else was around. If you see that you can help in some way, you do it.

«We went through 16 Russian checkpoints, and they let us through each one»

- You arrived in Mariupol an hour before the war started. Did you understand what you were getting into?

- Yes. It is impossible to predict every detail, but Mstyslav Chernov, Vasylysa Stepanenko and I knew that the city would likely be encircled. We went to Mariupol deliberately, to be surrounded. Consciously.

Of course, it was terrifying. We travelled at night, and it was eerily quiet and tense. We prepared for various scenarios and even joked that we were heading to the city that would become one of the starting points of World War III...

- How often were you under fire in Mariupol?

- Constantly. I would wake up in the morning at the hotel and go outside to film the building across the street because it had just been destroyed. There was no need to travel anywhere.

- You worked without electricity, water, the internet, and under constant danger. What decisions saved your lives?

- We were lucky in many ways, but some specific decisions and people truly saved our lives. There were tough moments when we barely escaped from areas that the occupiers had already surrounded.

For a while, we lived in a hospital that sheltered us. We became friends with the doctors, sleeping in the corridors where everyone had moved to avoid the shelling, and when necessary, we helped carry stretchers with the wounded. Then the building next to us was taken by the Russians. Tanks rolled out onto the streets. Their forces advanced, and aircraft were deployed. Street fighting raged around the hospital, and we were inside. Then our military came for us and said, «Pack up, we are running». And we ran with them. That saved us.

With Mstyslav Chernov and medics from the Mariupol hospital. Photo: private archive

Another instance was when we finally got out of the encircled area, but I lost my car - it was destroyed. A police officer named Volodymyr offered to drive us out of Mariupol. He risked his life and the lives of his family to take us in his car, even though we had met just two days earlier.

His car was shot up, the windows were gone, but it was still drivable. He, his wife, and their child took the three of us (myself, Vasylysa, and Mstyslav) into their vehicle. And that is how we got out.

- Vasylysa told me this story, and I still can not grasp how you managed to pull it off…

- We passed through 15 or 16 Russian checkpoints, and at each one, they let us through. The occupiers had only just begun implementing their filtration process. Perhaps it helped that we did not take the same route as others. The truth is, you never know exactly what saved you. But if the Russians had found the footage we shot or realised we were Ukrainian journalists, we all would have suffered - us, and Volodymyr with his family.

One warrior does not make a battle

- There is a concept known as «survivor’s guilt», a feeling often experienced by those who fled the war and went abroad. Did you feel something similar when you escaped Mariupol?

- We thought about why we could not stay longer, especially because we did not capture the events at the drama theatre, where so many people died... But the fact that we survived at all - that is a miracle.

Kherson resident in her house flooded after the Kakhovka dam explosion on June 6th 2023. Photo: Evgeniy Maloletka/Associated Press/East News

- Vasylysa mentioned her fear of going to Mariupol, and that your and Mstyslav’s confidence inspired her. Is it easier to work in a team or alone?

- There is a saying, «One warrior does not make a battle». I am convinced of that. In difficult circumstances, you need to be with people you trust, who are on the same wavelength as you.

If, God forbid, you get injured, you need to have your people by your side, who know what to do. Mstyslav had significant experience working in war zones, and I had some experience in our own war.

In the summer of 2021, I took a course in first aid. I already knew how to apply tourniquets and do other essential things, but refreshing those skills is critical when you live in a country at war. Life taught me how to act during shellings.

Vasylysa and I started working together about a month before the full-scale invasion. Before Mariupol, we actually tried to talk her out of going. But she made her choice because she wanted to be with us. She took the risk. She is brave.

- Who inspires you?

- Mstyslav, Vasylysa and I inspire each other. But above all, I am inspired by our people.

Ukrainians are incredibly strong. They have suffered so much from the war, but they do not give up. I often see soldiers who have been wounded but have not lost their immense life potential and energy. For example, there is a soldier who underwent about 60 surgeries and had both limbs amputated. He says: «It’s nothing. I have my whole life ahead of me». He is undergoing rehabilitation and can now walk up the stairs by himself. His goal is to «get his two kids on their feet». How can you not be inspired by that?

Ukrainian man taking out the remaining glass in a window with his bare hands after a Russian shelling, Shakhtarsk, 2014. Photo: Evgeniy Maloletka/AP/East News

My grandmother worked until she was 82, until her last day. She was an engineer and had been disabled since childhood due to polio. Despite having a severe disability, she went to work every day. It was hard for her to climb to the third floor, but she did it. She always said that you can not just sit or lie down, that you have to keep moving. After the full-scale invasion began, my parents had to leave their home and became internally displaced. But my father did not fall into depression or anything like that. Even at over 60, he continues to work.

I do not want to sound pretentious, but what is the point of life if you are only doing everything for yourself? I realise that in war, it is those who care who show up. And I never want to stop caring

For me, it is important not to stand aside. To take part in something that matters.

It is also crucial not to burn out. We are in the middle of a long marathon, and we need to maintain the pace to make it to the end - without losing strength or the sense of why we are doing it.

- But how? What helps you with that?

- It is a difficult period right now. I try not only to photograph but also to help my colleagues, especially young talented photographers, develop. That inspires me too.

Evgeniy at the World Press Photo 2023 Awards in Amsterdam, standing in front of his photograph of the Mariupol maternity hospital bombing. Photo: private archive

- Are there any photographs that make you feel joyful and happy?

- Of course. I love taking pictures of my son. Watching him grow, mature and just seeing how cool he is.

- What can each of us do to help achieve victory?

- We should all do what we do best. Every day. How else? Some people fight, some make drones, others protest abroad, and we do journalism. It all matters. Every action. Every person.

20
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Evgeniy Maloletka: «We came to Mariupol on purpose, to get surrounded»

Kseniya Minchuk
Military Tetyana Bondarenko

Tetyana Bondarenko is an actress. Before the full-scale invasion, she played at the Kyiv theatre on Mykhailivska St., acted in episodical roles in movies, translated English content for Ukrainian TV channels, worked as a lab assistant in the scientific research laboratory at the Borys Grinchenko University. On February 24 2022, her life, like the lives of millions of Ukrainians, changed completely. During that time, when many were already leaving Kyiv, Tetyana came into the recruiting office with a strong intention of joining the Territorial Defence. She has been fighting since Autumn 2022. At first as a shooter in the infantry, now - as a drone operator. Tetyana with the codename «Bond» told Sestry about her life at war, her motivation and battling sexism on the frontlines.

Photo: Kateryna Kozinska

Making the recruitment office listen

- The plan to join the Armed Forces of Ukraine actually formed even before the full-scale war, - Tetyana says. - In 2014, when the fighting in Donbas broke out, I came to the «Kozatsky» hotel on Khreshchatyk St., where volunteers were being recruited, and said that I wanted to join one of the battalions. The recruiter looked at me with apparent scepticism: «And who are you? A medic? Cook?» «An actress» - I replied.

I think he threw away my application the moment I left the hotel. Since that day, I was often haunted by thoughts that I was doing nothing while someone else was protecting the country. And at the beginning of 2022, I had no doubt about the imminence of a full-scale invasion and decided to apply to the Territorial Defence in January. I considered it to be a good way to, firstly, prepare myself for the war, and secondly, learn to handle weapons, which would be useful in my career as an actress (I have always wanted to play strong and belligerent women).

The full-scale war began when I already collected all the necessary documents for the Territorial Defence - the only thing left was for me to write a short autobiography. Having heard the first explosions outside my window, I began writing it at once - and at 9 AM I was on the spot with all the required papers.

Women do not belong here

- People often ask me when I was really scared during the war. And so I think that it would be the moment I was first given a weapon, having no idea how to use it. I was horrified of doing something wrong… Our first target practice took place on March 8th. It is an important date for me as a feminist - a day of women’s struggle for their rights. Being at a training ground that day with a weapon in hand, I felt that I was doing what I had to.

- When in particular did you end up on the frontlines?

- This did not happen immediately. At first, I was stationed at a checkpoint near Kyiv. We spent the whole Spring learning combat tactics, explosives and more. Before long we went to the combat zone but stayed in reserve for a while, 3-4 kilometres away from the battles. Our company was sent to the frontlines specifically at the end of October 2022. Then a situation happened that became a great disappointment to me.

There were only two women in my company: me and a combat medic. And we were the only ones to not be sent «to die» until the last minute. The commander of the unit we were in proclaimed stubbornly: «We do not take women to the frontlines!». While half of the men in our company were laid off at the trench digging stage in reserve: there were many people 40+ years of age in the Territorial Defence, and some strained their backs, for some problems with the joints or blood pressure «appeared». As a result, only 35 people went to the line which was supposed to be «held» by 70 people. The female medic and I, who were prepared and motivated, were not engaged because of the fact that we were women.

Our unit’s leader tried to convince the commander of the air assault company that I and my comrade could fight but he said: «Alright, you can take them with you. But if they are going to start crying the next day, you are going to be at fault»

But they did not take us anyway. When wrote a report to the commander, he sent my comrade to a field hospital and me to a different company, whose positions were easier. He said I have to stay there for a while at first, and then if I manage it, I could come back to my company. Unfortunately, my company did not stick around for me to come - the enemy literally destroyed it, only three people were unharmed. The rest - all «WIA» and two «KIA». Then, I told my mother that it would not be an enemy’s bullet that would kill me in this war but instead sexism that becomes absurd, and stupidity shown by my own people.

By gender

- What do you think is the reason for sexism?

- This is, unfortunately, our culture. 90 per cent of people in the army are yesterday’s civilians. This is a kind of section, a mirror of society, in which 70 per cent of men single-mindedly refuse to see an equal in a female. They think in stereotypes indoctrinated since their childhood, like: «The man is a defender, the woman is a caretaker». I think if they admit that women are strong, smart and can perform the same tasks as them, their worldview would crumble. If women are decent soldiers, it turns out that men are not exclusive in their heroism.

- What methods are effective in fighting sexism?

- I often see how some girls try to be kind and gentle in hopes that it would help establish good relationships with their comrades. Thinking that if they act like a girl, they would soon start acting like gentlemen. I have not seen this strategy work even once.

Personally, I have a strong reaction towards any signs of sexism. I am not afraid of being hated. At least I will be heard. And by the way, I am on good terms with most of my comrades. Thankfully, there are some reasonable people.

Sexism presents itself in many forms, most of the time in offensive comments or jokes toward women. And, in my opinion, men often underestimate women’s role in civil life during the war, when it is the women especially on whom the responsibility to care for the children and the elderly lies - and there are no medals, awards or prizes for this.

I even conducted a survey among my comrades - what would they choose: staying home alone with children like their wives or going to war. The overwhelming majority chose the second option.

One time, the wife of one of my comrades thanked me - she said that after speaking with me, her husband became more considerate of her «invisible» home duty

As for fighting sexism coming from the management, you can, for example, report it, which is what I do. But this might not always be effective, as orders like «We do not take women to the frontlines» are not documented on paper. They are given in verbally, and proving that the reason for you not being accepted somewhere was particularly sexism is difficult.

I am not an infantry soldier anymore, I am a drone operator - there is much less sexism in this area. Here I am allowed to participate in any operations with no questions, but I do know a girl, for instance, who was not allowed to take part in combat missions just this Winter. A lot depends on which management you will end up under. Which is truly absurd, since the army has a catastrophic lack of people.

But commanders continue dividing people by gender. For me, it is the same as segregating people by, for example, eye colour: «We do not send blue-eyed people to the frontlines because they are tender». I can not think of a single war task that a woman could not handle.

A machine gun is a quite heavy weapon but we all know successful female machine gunners. My comrade, a combat medic, received her call sign «The Ant» for carrying the injured twice her size out of the battlefield. The difference between a man and a woman is only that a woman does not have the right to make a mistake. If a man makes a mistake - it is normal, happens to everyone. But when a woman does it, she will immediately hear that her place is not in the war.

What women want

- The girls on the frontlines point out issues with female military uniform…

- In my battalion female uniform is unheard of. My physique is more or less boy-like, with small breasts, which allows me to wear a male uniform, tunics and T-shirts. There was a girl with a curvy shape in our unit, to whom the men’s body armour became a real problem. And even then, she was told she just did not know how to wear it.

The reality is that girls are forced to buy female uniforms themselves. The underwear provided is also only men’s. AFU’s pants are not suited for women’s thighs, they are uncomfortable in combat. That is why I bought a «British» uniform back in 2022 - the pants are much wider there, and I also purchased a women’s plate carrier and plates myself.

- Women’s everyday life is also connected with other difficulties - for example, painful periods. How do you manage this problem?

- In this matter, I got lucky once again because everything goes on relatively painless. I know girls who experience this much harder but they perform their duties and do not complain. And personal hygiene items can be changed even in blindages and on the frontline - it is enough to ask your male comrades to turn away. When the situation is that people can not leave the trenches for multiple days, they are even forced to relieve themselves into jars or bags, and this concerns both men and women.

It is not the time to die

- You literally burst into the fight, to the frontline. Are you not afraid?

- Obviously, there is a fear. I strive for combat but it does not mean I will be running under enemy fire and putting myself in danger on purpose. Last year, I was on the very combat line, when the enemy was 200 metres away from us and bullets really were flying over my head day and night. You sit in a blindage, look deep into the darkness and realise that an enemy grenade could land before you even see the enemy. In these moments you act on adrenaline - and this adrenaline does not let go of you for some more time after arriving at a relatively safe place.

You are exhausted and exhilarated at the same time because you realise: you went through hell and lived. There are moments when it really is a miracle you survived. I recall a situation when the enemy was shelling us with artillery, and our observation posts were in a ravine on the slope of one of the hills. We were hiding there in dugouts, dug by the Russians (it was impossible to dig new ones due to the constant presence of enemy drones).

At that time, I had a small individual dugout. The likelihood of a direct hit on our dugouts was low - it was quite difficult to hit them. And then I had a conflict with the company commander, and he sent me «into exile» to a control observation post (COP) - a place between the frontline and the permanent deployment point. Another soldier replaced me at my position. So, I was sitting at the COP and heard on the radio that a tank was shelling our positions. The next message was that there was one «KIA». It turned out that a hit landed near my dugout, a fragment pierced the roof, and the comrade who was in my dugout died on the spot...

- What helps you cope?

- Talking to my mom and friends. It is important to have people you can share your feelings with. Cigars also help to relieve acute stress. Not cigarettes, but cigars specifically; I learned to smoke cigars while in the Territorial Defense. This year, I sought help from a psychologist and I already feel a positive effect. Motivation also helps me to hold on.

- How can you outline it?

- When the full-scale invasion happened, I felt like I had been slapped. My country, my Kyiv, was hit so brazenly and deceitfully. I wanted to retaliate once and for all against the one who dared to do this. That is exactly what I am doing now.

Despite all the difficulties I face, I will defend this country because it is mine. While at war, I discovered Ukraine’s East for myself - unbelievably beautiful and now dear places to me.

As a feminist, I am used to standing up for my boundaries, defending my rights. The same is true here - I am defending my right to be myself in my country, defending its and my own independence.

And even if something were to happen to me, I would be peaceful, as I was fighting for a noble cause.

Photos from the heroine’s private archive

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