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Домашнє насильство над дітьми: що робити та як реагувати
Діти, які зростають в умовах домашнього насильства, стають його тихими жертвами. Причому вони страждають не лише тоді, коли безпосередньо над ними знущаються або ними нехтують батьки. Діти мучаться і тоді, коли стають свідками насильства з боку дорослих
Як реагувати на домашнє насильство над дітьми. Фото: Shutterstock
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Домашнє насильство може завдати дитині фізичної, емоційної та психологічної шкоди. Психологи зазначають, що наслідки домашнього насильства над дітьми можуть бути як короткостроковими, так і довготривалими.
Тип і ступінь шкоди, яка завдається дітям домашнім насильством, залежать насамперед від трьох факторів:
типу примусового контролю, який використовує кривдник, та подій, що його супроводжують;
віку, статі та стадії розвитку дитини;
ситуативних факторів, як-от види соціальної підтримки.
Найпоширеніші види домашнього насильства над дітьми
Заподіювання шкоди дітям дорослими особами можна розділити на чотири категорії дій:
навмисне заподіяння фізичної шкоди, що розглядається як спосіб покарання та контролю над дитиною (наприклад, переховування, ізоляція, погрози накладення кари з метою примусити її бути слухняною);
ненавмисне заподіяння дитині фізичної шкоди під час нападу на партнера, коли дитина випадково наближається на відстань витягнутої руки або при спробі втрутитися (наприклад, штовхання матері з дитиною на руках; отримання дитиною травми при спробі зупинити напад кривдника);
створення середовища, в якому діти стають свідками насильства або його наслідків. Дослідження показують, що спостереження за домашнім насильством може мати такий самий вплив на дітей, як і фізичне та сексуальне насильство. Незалежно від того, що говорять кривдники чи жертви, діти часто стають безпосередніми свідками фізичного чи психологічного насильства або дізнаються про нього опосередковано — підслуховуючи епізоди сварки чи спостерігаючи бійку або її фізичні наслідки у вигляді тілесних ушкоджень та знищеного майна;
використання дітей для контролю над партнером як під час стосунків, так і після розлучення.
Куди звертатися дітям, які стали жертвами домашнього насильства?
Якщо діти стали жертвами домашнього насильства, важливо негайно звернутися до відповідних організацій та служб, які можуть надати допомогу.
Ось кілька можливих варіантів реагування на домашнє насильство над дітьми:
Зверніться до місцевої поліції або служби безпеки. Вони мають надати захист та порадити, що робити далі.
Зателефонуйте на гарячу лінію допомоги для жертв домашнього насильства. Кожна країна має такі служби, де вам нададуть конфіденційну підтримку.
Зверніться до місцевих організацій, які спеціалізуються на допомозі жертвам насильства. Вони можуть надати притулок, юридичну підтримку, психологічну допомогу тощо.
Поговоріть зі шкільними працівниками або соціальними педагогами, які можуть надати допомогу та поради щодо захисту дітей.
Кожна країна має власні служби та організації, які надають допомогу жертвам домашнього насильства. Тому рекомендації щодо отримання допомоги можуть відрізнятися залежно від вашого місця перебування.
Як зрозуміти, що дитина стала жертвою домашнього насильства
Розуміння, що дитина стала жертвою домашнього насильства, є важливим кроком для її захисту.
Ось деякі ознаки, на які варто звернути увагу:
Фізичні ознаки
Синці, подряпини, переломи, опіки або інші видимі травми, які не можуть бути пояснені або які не збігаються з поясненням дитини.
Психологічні ознаки
Дитина може виявляти страх, тривогу, низьку самооцінку, депресію, постійну напругу або інші дивні зміни в поведінці та настрої.
Соціальні ознаки
Дитина може відчувати сором, відчуження, відмовлятися від спілкування з іншими дітьми. У неї також можуть спостерігатися проблеми з навчанням або відсутність друзів.
Сексуальні ознаки
Дитина може мати проблеми зі сном, виявляти знання або інтерес до сексуальних ситуацій, мати статеві травми або інфекції.
Якщо ви спостерігаєте будь-які з цих ознак у дитини, важливо негайно вжити заходів для її захисту. Зверніться до місцевих органів соціального захисту дітей або правоохоронних органів, які можуть надати допомогу в цій непростій ситуації.
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In 2024, Russia significantly expanded the network of «re-education camps» and increased the militarisation and indoctrination of abducted Ukrainian children. Each of these children, upon returning home, requires rehabilitation - receiving a complex of various forms of assistance. How many Ukrainian children were actually abducted by Russia, what they are taught in the «re-education camps», and what are the prospects for the return of deported Ukrainians - discussed in an interview with Olena Rozvadovska, the founder and head of «Voices of Children» Charitable Foundation.
Nataliia Zhukovska: On October 2nd, seven children aged between 3 and 14 were returned to Ukrainian-controlled territory. All of them were from the Kherson and Crimea regions. This was reported by the head of the Save Ukraine organisation, Mykola Kuleba. And at the end of September, according to the ombudsman Dmytro Lubinets, nine children were also returned home. How many Ukrainian children in total have been abducted by Russia?
Olena Rozvadovska: According to open sources, Russia has deported over 700 thousand people. The official figure from the Ukrainian authorities is around 20 thousand children. This is the number we rely on. However, it is impossible to state the exact number. Since the war continues, there might be one number of children today and another tomorrow. We also do not have access to the occupied territories or Russian territory.
What happens to Ukrainian children in Russia?
Recently, together with the public association «Ukrainian Network for Children's Rights», the NGO «Regional Human Rights Centre» prepared a report based on specific cases. Our part focused on children's psychological support and rehabilitation after their return. Speaking generally about what happens, according to the children, the scenarios vary.
In some cases, there is group deportation, and they are placed in various child-like camps in Crimea or on the territory of Russia and Belarus. It is known that in the occupied territories of Ukraine, processes are underway to deprive parents of their parental rights according to Russian legislation
Children can be taken under the pretext of so-called threats to life or health without further clarification. Afterwards, they can be placed in foster families. All of this is undoubtedly illegal and constitutes a war crime, which the Ukrainian side is documenting.
How does the process of «liberating» Ukrainian children take place?
Our foundation «Voices of Children» is not involved in the return of children. In fact, each case is individual. There is no return mechanism, just as there is no mechanism for prisoners of war. Generally, the official sides cannot agree on the return of a certain number of children home. This is not that type of case. Russia does not recognise the fact that these are abducted or deported children. According to the Russians, they are rescuing them from shelling. For them, this is a «humanitarian mission». We, however, understand that this is abduction, forced deportation and russification of the nation on RF territory.
As of today, it is the relatives of the child who is in Russia that go to retrieve them. Volunteers who work in coordination with the Ministry of Integration, the President's Office, the Ombudsman, and others assist them in their logistics. That is, the relatives themselves search for those children.
What is the greatest difficulty?
The greatest difficulty is that any person who goes to Russia for the child is in a high-risk zone. There is a chance that they may not return with the child because they could be detained. Moreover, the process always involves humiliating and difficult filtration procedures and an extensive number of various checks. The return process may take several weeks or even months. In one case documented in our report, a grandmother was ready to travel to Russia to get her granddaughter. The return of the child lasted 14 months. The woman faced 18-hour interrogations at the Russian border and threats. Russia hindered the process in every way possible. To delay the child’s exit from Russia, the grandmother was made part of a criminal case. The family was only reunited after a second attempt, and only after the girl’s mother reported the obstacles faced in returning the child at a UN Security Council meeting.
The logistics are also challenging. Typically, the journey to the occupied territories or Russia involves passing through several European countries
The difficulty lies in locating, verifying, and finding these children. It is all very monotonous and complex work. According to official statistics published on the «Children of War» website, 388 children have been returned to date. As you can see, the figure is not even in the thousands. The complexity lies in the fact that there is no organised return of, for example, an entire group of children from an institutional-type facility that was taken. However, the greatest difficulty is the time we lose every day. Children who were taken at 2,5 years of age are now 5,5 years old. They may not remember what happened to them. Moreover, for the child, this is already a trauma. The longer they remain in isolation and subjected to active brainwashing, the harder it becomes to bring them back. And we understand that this is exactly what Russia is doing.
And of course, when children end up in Russian families and are adopted, these cases are even more difficult. Imagine yourself as a little three-year-old girl. You are brought into a family, and you adapt. At that age, it does not matter where the child lives because they do not understand the situation they have ended up in. They simply live.
In your recent report, you mentioned over 5500 clubs of military-patriotic education and hundreds of «re-education camps» operating in Russia and Belarus. How exactly are Ukrainian children re-educated there? How does indoctrination occur?
This research was conducted by the Regional Human Rights Centre. Their specialists describe the patriotism lessons that the children go through. In the curriculum approved by the Russian Ministry of Education, Ukraine is not depicted as an independent and united state. According to our colleagues’ research, propaganda narratives are embedded not only in textbooks but are also imposed during extracurricular but mandatory classes such as «Conversations About Important Matters» and «Lessons of Courage». The «cadet and Cossack classes» operate within schools, aimed at preparing students for military service.
One manifestation of political indoctrination is the activities of so-called patriotic and military-patriotic movements
In Russia, so-called «re-education camps» also operate. Russia spares no expense on their operation. They are very professional in their information warfare. This machine is in full motion at every level. Every teacher, adult, and school administrator knows where to get the «correct» information that needs to be conveyed to the children. And even if someone turns on the television, they will find confirmation of everything they have already been told. In these camps, there is a system of so-called patriotic education. They introduce children to their «heroes», teach them, and sing the Russian anthem. In doing so, they erase national self-identity. The Russians' goal is to make Ukrainian children see themselves as part of the Russian people.
What methods does Russia use on Ukrainian children to make them literally forget that they are Ukrainians?
It is primarily about psychological and moral pressure. Our psychologist, who worked with a boy who was returned to Ukraine, also spoke about how he endured physical abuse and torture. I know that human rights defenders are recording even more severe and horrific cases. The hardest situation in Russia is for those children who openly demonstrate their pro-Ukrainian stance. They are constantly subjected to moral pressure and intimidation. The Russians calculated that the children would break. They were constantly told: «No one cares about you, no one will come for you. You have been forgotten. If you return, you will be recognised as collaborators or as those who worked with Russia and will be sent to prison». The children, not knowing whether it was true or not, thought: «Maybe I really will be imprisoned for being in Russia?». Any scary thought can take root in a stressed mind.
Freedom House, together with ZMINA. The Centre for Human Rights and the Regional Centre for Human Rights presented new evidence to the International Court regarding the direct involvement of the Lukashenko regime in the displacement, political indoctrination, and militarisation of education for over 2200 children from occupied Ukrainian territories. How can this evidence contribute to the return of Ukrainian children?
Firstly, it is about documenting violations. Cases in The Hague can take decades to review. Despite this, someone must continue documenting these violations. It is also about increasing international pressure. If no one speaks about this, documents it, or submits it, it may seem like the problem is resolved, and there are no issues. This needs to remain in the public domain and be discussed at various levels.
Of course, we would all like for this to be resolved in one day, and for Russia to be excluded even from the UN. However, we understand that it cannot be done so quickly
I believe that it is absolutely the right path for both state authorities and public organisations to continue working on documenting, collecting violations, and passing them on to the relevant institutions. As a result of documented violations, arrest warrants have been issued for Putin and Lvova-Belova. I am confident that Russian sanctions will only intensify. It is important not to grow tired of this work. Every Ukrainian, at their own level, must shout about the genocide that Russia is committing in today's world, right in the heart of Europe.
What is Ukraine doing to ensure that Russia is held accountable under international law for the abduction and illegal adoption of Ukrainian children?
Ukraine is doing everything within its power. International coalitions for the return of children are being created. International groups of prosecutors and investigators are working to document information on violations. Ukraine is regularly represented on various international platforms.
A wide range of measures are being taken to hold Russia accountable for its crimes - and not only those concerning children. It is unfortunate that these processes are not as swift as we would like them to be.
Your foundation, «Voices of Children», has been active since 2015. How have these «voices» changed since Russia's full-scale invasion?
Since 2015, I have been working as a volunteer with children in the east of the country along the entire frontline, and in 2019, we officially registered as a foundation. There have been many changes over nearly 10 years. In 2015, I was alone, but now our team consists of 220 people. The difference is that in 2015, the war was confined to two regions, but today it spans the entire country. Another change is that as of 2019, we had between 50 and 100 children under our care in various frontline locations and just one psychological support programme. It was very localised and targeted work. We travelled to remote villages where buses did not go. After 24 February 2022, when drones and missiles began flying across the whole of Ukraine, the format of our work changed drastically. The frontline today is more intense and much larger in scale.
Today, our centres are located in the largest cities along the frontline - from Chernihiv to Kharkiv, Zaporizhzhia, Dnipro, Kryvyi Rih, and Mykolaiv. It is not easy to work there due to the constant shelling. However, the children living there need socialisation. Their schooling is online, and they do not go anywhere - so our sessions are a small escape for them. War, whether large or small, always impacts children.
Why do parents return with their children to areas under shelling despite the danger?
It is hard to understand, but that is how it is. Everyone has their own story. You cannot say that all people have lost their minds about returning to dangerous cities and villages. That is not true! Sane, healthy, and thoughtful people are returning. The reasons vary greatly. Many simply could not settle elsewhere. People leave, spend all their money on renting accommodation, fail to find work, and return. This is the reality for many families. Some remain or return to dangerous regions because they have bedridden parents they cannot leave behind. That is why I never judge these people, although I am convinced that it is wrong to remain under shelling, especially with children.
How do you work with parents who refuse to evacuate with their children from dangerous zones?
It is a difficult process. If adults do not want to leave the area, they simply sign a refusal to evacuate. Parents bear primary responsibility for their children. Often, they refuse out of fear. Here, the state has not done enough to ensure that everyone has a clear understanding of where these people are going. They need to have at least some certainty in emergency situations. There is another group of parents who simply abuse their position and manipulate their children. Generally, these are the adults who do not take care of their children and are not interested in saving their mental health and lives. The state mechanisms must also work in these cases.
These children need to be removed. This is the job of social services, but it is not easy for them to work on the frontline. Many factors have come together to create the situation as it stands
I remember one story where we moved a family with three children from a frontline village and bought them a house in a rear area. A year later, they returned to their village. In this situation, there was nothing we could do because we do not have the right to remove children from their families.
What is the current psychological state of the children? Does it differ depending on where they live in Ukraine?
Various factors influence the psychological state of children. Certainly, the place of residence plays a role. There is a difference between living in Uzhhorod and living in Zaporizhzhia. These are two completely different realities. Obviously, the more dangerous the area of residence, the more threatening the situation for their mental health. However, much also depends on the family. A child senses the anxiety of adults. Parents are the window to the outside world for children. It is not just the rockets that scare them during war, but also their mother’s reaction to them. The presence of education, peer groups and opportunities for communication also have an impact on a child's mental health. Children in Kharkiv and Zaporizhzhia suffer greatly. Recently, we gathered children’s dreams in Zaporizhzhia, and one girl wrote: «I want this online schooling to finally end».
Our psychologists report that today, children are more frequently presenting with anxiety and depressive states, especially teenagers. Some children develop enuresis, hand tremors, and sleep disturbances. Others, due to stress or traumatic experiences, may exhibit eating behaviour disorders.
What do you think the state should do to work with children currently abroad, and how should they be brought back?
We understand that in addition to returning children abducted by Russia, we also need to work with those who are currently displaced abroad. Ukraine must be highly interested in ensuring that all working-age people, and not only children, return. For example, we often receive requests for online psychological assistance from parents abroad, as they are looking for Ukrainian-speaking specialists for their children. It is no secret that living abroad was a dream for some, but for many, it is not a fairytale.
A very large number of people dream of returning home. However, urging them to do so now is certainly wrong, as the war continues
For people to return, the economy must function, jobs need to be created, and education must develop. But first and foremost, the war must end with our victory.
Even the country with the best economy in the world cannot function normally when drones hit schools. It is abnormal and wrong. Today, hubs need to be created so that people abroad can still feel connected to Ukraine and remain within the Ukrainian information space. Moreover, we must constantly keep the world's attention focused and, of course, talk about the fact that Ukraine alone cannot counter Russian propaganda and stop such a powerful enemy.
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